No one understands
Why I say what I say
and act the way I act
Never caring
Never seeing
Always running
From me
My emotions
My feelings
My thoughts
Always
Why?
I must ask
Why?
Always
Can no one see?
Am I a freak?
An outcast
A loner...
Always
Truly alone
Never understood
Never trusted
Never, never
Always
Just give me a chance
Trust me
Love me
Understand me
Always
Give me a chance
Just one chance
And show you who I am
Always
I am not a freak
I am not a monster
I am not a loner
Always
My views may be different
Just look through a glass
See things from my perspective...
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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I want to choose a favorite part of this poem, but I can't pick just one, so I am going to highlight three sections that I absolutely adore.
1.
"Can no one see?
Am I a freak?
An outcast
A loner..."
I felt that way for years - and still do, to some degree. I think many people do, which makes this poem very relatable. =]
2.
"Give me a chance
Just one chance
And show you who I am"
Everyone deserves a chance to show people who they are, and sadly, this chance seems to be a rare thing for many people. You did an excellent job of crying out and letting the reader how much you need this chance to "show you who I am."
3.
"My views may be different
Just look through a glass
See things from my perspective..."
AMEN.
Some people have real issues with that...
but then, don't we all? =/
EXCELLENT write. =D -
good questions.
I like poems that flow like staccato thoughts. they are usually more raw and heartfelt.
I think you could have repeated "always" less frequently but really i don't see a need to change it.
Kat
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Yeah I considered removing a few "always" but never got around to it.
-Steve-
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You've captured the emotions of loneliness we sometimes feel and that we don't fit in - if only someone would take the time to look deeper inside us to discover the warmth and intelligence locked within.
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Thank you
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sounds observent
I enjoyed this piece
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You hit the prompt well, but all caps, no punctuation and the over repetition of always reduces you message. This was a good attempt, keep penning.
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Perspectives are funny things. I think you have a lot of strength in this piece and much to say. I am always pleased when we have such powerful pieces coming from young poets. It gives me faith in society.
Structurally, capitalizing each line almost distracts a bit from your message, making it sharp where softer corners may have been more effective. It also makes punctuation difficult where using it will press your message home much more effectively working to your advantage.
Perhaps something to this effect for your first stanza:
Words and actions misunderstood
breed careless, visionless flight.
Emotions, thoughts, feelings-
and always the query,
"Why"?
Your idea, just a bit less jagged with my impressions of your words. Line breaks might need some work, but this is a rough example.
I appreciate your entry and think you have done quite well with the prompt. A bit of polish and this piece will really take off.
Thank you so much for your entry and best of luck in the judging. ~Pamela
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'No one understands
Why I say what I say
and act the way I act
Never caring
Never seeing
Always running'
amazing start to this poem... so many times i wonder why people act like that and can't see things from another viewpoint except their own. people are judged so easily on another's narrow point of view... i enjoyed reading this.
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very good.....it shows alot of emotions <3 always
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thank you
-Steve-
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Wow! This is an awesome poem. Everyone wants to be noticed. This is a poem stating the emotion so vividly. You did an astounding job with this. Best to you in the contest.
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Thank you so much!
-Steve-
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