Candle light dances off your chest
As we lay in perfect harmony
Your skin against mine
Your heart beating with mine
Nothing will go wrong
Nobody better try
For this is our only chance
The only chance of being alone
For everyone we know watches us
Never letting us be
They believe we will not last
And this is just lust
But we know differently
For we feel it in our hearts and minds
Feel it in our very souls
We know this is right
As we think about this your lips continue moving
Moving anywhere they please
For I do not care
Because I truly love you
You are my life and it shall last forever
This perfect moment suspended in time
Never allowing time to continue its relentless task
For this would all end
Tension builds as we start to sweat
As I feel you inside of me
With your hand tangled in my hair
Our bodies locked together
Together forever
Like many thought wouldn't happen
For we will continue to live together
In perpetual bliss
Author notes
Just another random poem....and hormones..lots of hormones!!
Contest- Midnight-Moon
A contest entry
- Something Good by Dorcha Runda.
450 points, ended December 15, 2007, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Come on I need more! Teen lets show who is the master at erotic (no one over 18) by loveaswellashate.
450 points, ended December 21, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - lust & love by whiterabbit..
375 points, ended January 6, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me how i did plz.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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this was good.. I liked the whole theme of it.. Thanx for joining and good luck
Laters...
Loves...*hugs* -
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Thank you very much, and your very welcome!....*hugs back*
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This is really great. You did a wonderful job.
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Thank you very much!
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Lovely poem, but personally I didn't find it very erotic. Maybe that's just me though. I can relate to never being able to be alone (I've not been alone with my partner in 2 weeks now, and it's killing me), and the thing with people thinking it won't last (it's worse when they're right though). As regards the actual poem rather than the content, "For I do not care
/Because I truly love you" somehow doesn't seem to fit the rhythm of the rest, the 'for' and 'because' seem a little unnecessary and perhaps missing them out would be an improvement (just a suggestion - it's your poem after all). Anyways, great write and good luck in the contest! -
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Thank you very much on the suggestions. It means alot that you can help me find some ways to fix it.
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love it! thanks for your entry and good luck.
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Thank you!!
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I enjoyed it. Beautiful love is. well done.
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Thank you very much!
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Oooh! Someone's been have more dreams, huh? XD Very nice
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Um..i'm not going to comment on that Rosser. Thank you though!
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Very beatuiful write.
~K~
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Thank You very much!
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lmao on the hormones. beautiful write.
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Lol yeah, got to love the hormones..Thank you very much NyteShade!
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