People come to and from this place of so called peace
Looking for solace
Looking for some help
Hoping to have their problems taken away
But do they really know
Do they really even care?
That they are being taken for granted
Their lives just thrown away
Just for the doctors to say they cannot help them
They can do nothing for them
Or do they not want to help them
Do they know what it’s like?
Do they know what those people go through?
What terrible conditions they reside in
How they are despised
Despised because of their loses
Many of them were great people
People worth recognizing
People worth idealizing
Before they fell
Fell into the blackest hell that anyone could have foreseen
But still nobody cares
Nobody feels anything
Do they really know what it’s like?
Those people cannot bathe
Cannot go and get their hair cut
Barely have enough to eat
And nobody tries to help them
Doctors take one look at them and flee
Flee into their false security of a home
Where they think they are safe from pain
Safe from all harms way
Until one day when everything could change
A day much like today
When everything is taken away
And they will know what it’s like
Author notes
Inspiration from listening to What It's Like by Everlast
Contest-1. http://youtube.com/watch?v=4z9f9Eybv4I
ok song one is what its like by everlast , ShadowsMidnightRose
AP Family Contest- Sister
A contest entry
- Anything goes by Rulebreaker.
500 points, ended December 5, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Shape of Impact by Gossamer Guile.
900 points, ended December 20, 2007, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CONCRETE POETRY by ronnica.
2700 points, ended December 7, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how.dare.you? by CarCrashHumor.
530 points, ended December 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Like Music? Enter Now! by Athena of Starlite.
800 points, ended December 20, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - LOW LIFE CONTEST by Gerald Flagellation.
425 points, ended December 22, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Speak out! by Luna Argintie.
930 points, ended September 9, 2008, 205 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - AP Family! Yay!! by Simply Simple.
600 points, ended May 11, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
tell me how i did plz.
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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Love the imagery in this, and great message sent out to people. Very good write Best of luck to you in the contest. x
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Interesting poem. I loved the images it portrayed and the message it conveyed. Thank you for entering. Anyway... Please add your Author's name (Even though I know who you are... Hehe. Snooping. Shame on me) to your author's notes and the position you would like to hold in the family. ^.^
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Lol..My AP name and position is already there....Thank you I'm glad you like it..
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My mistake I must have missed it. ^.^ Lol And you're welcome.
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While it is rather difficult to draw a complete picture from your poem, I love the way you ended it and your diction.
Thank you for entering the contest.
Liana -
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Thank you very much and your welcome!
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Not my cup of tea I'm afraid to say. But there you go, you can't win 'em all, can you. Congratulations on reasonable grammar. I hate illiteracy.
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Ok..
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hopeful
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ok, thank you? Could you possibly elaborate on what you mean by "Hopeful"
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it has a hopeful tone-- I was disagreeing with the comments people said "negative piece" because I think, yes, it's about very negative things, but it is a positive piece.
"Until one day when everything could change
A day much like today
When everything is taken away
And they will know what it’s like"
the hope that they may experience and thus understand.
sorry I was sorta in a rush and didn't expound on it. -
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It's quite alright, thank you though for clarifying, and thanks again for your wonderful comment!
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I have to agree with Dennis I also fail to see any shape but much appreciate your entry, with this meaningful poem
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Thank you again, it means alot...even thought it doesn't have shape...that it was good.
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This is a poem of deep meaning and it is well written. With that being said I must say that I fail to see a concrete image as I read this piece. Thank you for your entry.
Dennis
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Thank you very much!
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I love the song that this was inspired by. And I love the message that it sends. People never truly take time to dwell on how well they really have it. I think I will cherish life more fully now. Thank you. Well done.
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Thank you very much and your welcome!
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A very negative poem but still very enjoyable...
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Thank you very much.
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The negatives of society--you potrayed it very well. I don't think anyone could fathom another's pain unless we experienced it ourselves.
Awesomeness. -
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Thank you very much Rosser, that was exactly what i was trying to do.
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I love your style and touch of the vividness of the presentation which is very curious from the begining itself..but ou maintained the pace until the end did a thought provoking work my friend..I love this
piece..In a very simple term you revealed the depth of the write here and there ..well done... -
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Thank you very much, I'm glad it turned out well.
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