Summertime
kisses
Strawberry
wishes
Lips
exploring
as I softly
moan
your
name
Like nectar
Your touch
lingers
making me
shiver.
I want
to
captivate you.
Author notes
Please tell me what you think because I want to show it to him!
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything To Do With Love, Good or Bad by Blooming Poet.
385 points, ended February 12, 2008, 73 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want a lot of poems... by love my jose luis.
900 points, ended February 21, 2008, 125 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
I liked this poem I think you definately should give it to him... I really like the free verse flow in this piece. Great job on this poem and good luck in my contest.
~Maria -
short and sensual. well penned and so poetically worded.
-
nice
hey this is nice, i cant help but wonder where it could have gone had you excluded yourself and the lover; you know, just used the gentle words of love without ever expressing its origins or intentions.
as far as the last line goes, i feel captivate is too strong a word. it really sticks out like a frog amongst a bed rose petals.
Summertime
kisses
Strawberry
wishes
Lips
exploring
softly
moans
nourish
Like nectar.
a touch
lingers
making flesh
shiver.
this is
enchantment.
maybe? eh? well hey it's your poem, your feelings expressed towards one you love and in the end i don't really think honest feeling can be improved upon.
g*
-
Well you should show it to him
He would love it; it has that sweet yet passionate feel to it. Also, one of my most favorite verbs is "captivate." Well done!
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