pretending to believe everything you say gets harder
when i find i don't believe in anything
what's faith but a childish ideal?
(i want to trust you
but my insecurities won't let me)
toeing the lines carefully
because i don't know how to do any of this
why hasn't time taught me anything?
all your pain holds out a hand to me
but i don't know the steps to your dance
won't you teach me?
i need to learn
i think you know that everything we say
is silly and unimportant
compared to the whisper of fingers and skin
what's more real than motion?
but speech and glances aren't my realm
i'm still more practiced as a manipulator of words
but i'm not sure they're as truthful
touches don't lie
and the meaning of paper
is so easily twisted
my heart is too fragile for all of these games
that i play on myself
doubt and treachery are an eternal chorus
where's my trust?
this is the part about falling
so hard
that scares me
because i have no idea what's there for me
at the bottom
Author notes
Uh, yeah. Posting again. Strange feeling.
I'm not so sure about this one, I don't really like it. But I don't feel like overworking it and killing it, so here it is. Whoo.
Um, yeah. That's it, I guess. *awkwardness* This feels like coming back to something I'd left awhile ago and feeling all nostalgic. Which I guess is the case. *sigh* I guess I had a good run with AP, but even if I posted a bajillion poems it wouldn't be how it used to be. Besides, I don't have a bajillion poems to post.
So I'm not deleting my account or anything, just contemplating how...weird this feels. It doesn't seem worth anything without the whole...way it was before.
But I'm posting anyways, cause it would feel even weirder to just delete this poem. Like killing something, I guess. Eh. All of this feels very unsure. Bleck. Just a whole aura of uneasiness, I suppose.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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I like it. It's a pretty poem... Well, time passes and people change. I mean, there used to be a time I would check my myspace every couple of hours. But now, I only check it once every couple of days... Anyways... I hope you'll keep posting as you're a very good writer!
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Woah. um. *speecheless* i dont know what to say...
but yeah, i definatelt feel like an era has come and gone, re: AP. It helped us all through some tough times, and (sort of as your poem said, if i'm reading it corectly) it was good, but it feels wierd now. We can't just write everything now, we have to talk, and show. things changed... with everyone, i think. it is wierd..
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