You’re my bottomless glass
Wishing this torment would pass
Leaving my heart with a painful mass
I salute to you for breaking my heart
I salute to you for tearing me apart
As I drink I drown a little more
Bringing me closer to touch the floor
You’re my bottomless glass
I can’t stop remembering the past
As my tears keep refilling my glass
I salute to you for giving me pain
I salute to you for making me insane
As I drink I drown my soul
Bringing me closer to death as my body feels cold
You’re my bottomless glass
Slowly my breathing depletes
Making my body limp as I want to sleep
I salute to you for giving me death
I salute to you for my last bit of breath
As I drink I drown it all
Bringing me down to the floor as I fall
You’re my bottomless glass
In a list
A contest entry
- Make your pain mine... by Sticks-And-Stones.
650 points, ended December 3, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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9pts...
Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the HM
~Lilac
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Liked the rhythm and rhyme in these lines, the flow and the sentiments you express so well in the poem. Easy to read and understand. The glass is never empty and just continues to keep filling up. Nice HM for this write as well.
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This is an awesome poem... I think it could benefit from some punctuation (however that always seems to come up with me
)... I love the repitition of 'You're my bottomless glass'... I found it really effective in hitting home the bitterness that I felt throughout this poem... congratulations on the honourable mention... it was well deserved
Keep writing
Polly -
Very heartfelt and sad piece f poetry my fellow poet. I really enjoyed this piece as I have felt this way many times. I have cried buckets at a time and have filled many a glass, butr no more. Congrats on the HM.
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i like it congrats on the HM its well deserved your pain is wonderfully expressed in this piece
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I can't stop remembering the past thats where I always get stuck love the flow in this write and strong imagery congrads on the trophy
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congrats on the HM. I liked it enough for at least bronze though. I could visualize the toasting and the glass never getting empty. Nice job
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I can’t stop remembering the past
As my tears keep refilling my glass
Yeeeah I think this is VERY heart-felt.
you did very good at writing your emotions here.great.
..Simply Me♥ -
This was a winner for me, it was such a sad yet expressive, heartfelt piece of poetry.excellent.
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wow. breath-taking and overwhelming. your words are ring clear.Your tears are like bottomless glass that continue fill. I love the comparison her. you are truly brillant. heartfelt and touching is all i can say.I hope all is well . but this is powerful.
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Haunting & tragic
Very haunting words here, with such a tragic finish. Terrific.
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A lot of pain here...
and you conveyed it so well. I sometimes think that pain is the remembrance of oppurtunities missed, but then oppurtunities saved might bring pain as well.
I guess we might just as well live dangerously...
A lot of deep feelings and emotions in this one, Lisa, you deserve some heavy metal.
I love you,
Brazos
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DEEP my sister
loved the imagery in this piece. Great job with this and good luck with the contest.
Much
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Wow... very deep, and very meaningful. It really makes you think. I like this. Great job!
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