Stretching tanned legs out under the table,
I wish I could stand
But blame it on this rich drink melting in my hand.
Give me just another moment, and I might be able.
The sand stretched shore outside this glassless window
Seems to know,
Exactly everything I’ve been needing...
You’re not supposed to drink the water in Mexico
So I’m just nursing another good one, nice and slow
Already forgetting about wanting to leave this chair.
So I sit, still drunk, still drinking, looking out there,
Watching the waves eat the cloud white sand away
Watching the birds play
On the thrusts and falls of the water
Do you see how it goes on forever?
The world is really flat you know
At least down here in Mexico.
Author notes
Inspired by the beauty of the ocean shore of Mexico. I am so enraptured with everything thing about that little slice of perfection, no ryhme does it justice.
ANYWAYS hope u guys like it!
A contest entry
- Oceanside by GirlAnachronism.
425 points, ended April 3, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Unappreciated Brilliance by KayJay.
1300 points, ended June 23, 2008, 18 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think - hey you there, with the smirk - stop that
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Very light hearted and fun.
Thank You
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I love the rhyme you use. It makes this a very lyrical poem that sounds great aloud. I just got back from a cruise in the Caribbean, and I know what you mean about the simplicity of relaxation and beauty. Great write.
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I feel better already (LOL)... What a wonderful vision you've shared with your light hearted words and wonderful images...
There's nothing to critique here... it's perfect just the way it it...
I think this is a great... Thank you for sharing...Truely, this is what I was hoping for... and it's unappreciated no longer.
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Beautiful and funny and inspiring. Love it. You're not supposed to drink the water in Mexico....I'll remember that excuse if I ever go there.
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great write. very good imagery, i can actually picture someone doing this very clearly. i especially enjoy the last seven lines. thanks for entering!
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I was smirking, I have never been but you painted the picture so well, that I could see it. I wanna go
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Oh, I can still taste the tang of the ocean, and it's whispering waves curling and the salty bite of a limed
margarita pressed to my lips between kisses spent like pesos, in the Tiquana bazaar. lovely write.~~Artis
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I've never had the privilege of being in mexico ...but images that you've provided make me want to go.
I did enjoy this!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill
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I love the rhyme, I like it when the rhyme is ABA, its so much more thought provoking
-BON*BON
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Wonderful Imagery!
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Sounds like someplace I want to be.
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wonderful job indeed!i love the attitude in here and all these subtle humorous word-combinations!amazing picture with enought details to make the reader want to read it again!well done!bravo!
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very nice!
I like this. you capture the spirit and attitude of being in mexico. no one gets in a hurry. just relax and enjoy.
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