As the moon reveals its face from the clouds
She lets a sad whimper escape from her soul.
The snow falls and delicately builds up
Just like her sorrow.
Snowflakes gently twirls and swirls down to the ground
But her heart shatters to pieces.
Glistening and sparkling in the scarce moonlight
The dark midnight sky slowly brightens
Soon, the sun breaks out from the light misty.
Though bright rays of sunlight glow upon her face
They cast shadows in her spirit.
She turns and walks away
Like she’s walking away from herself.
A contest entry
- Pimp up my free verse by leander.
400 points, ended January 6, 2008, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is a very good write!!! thanks alot for sharing!! have a nice day, -slick99
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Good write.
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There's quite some good imagery in this poem here
thank you for entering, I wish you the best of luck!
Leander -
This is beautiful in a sad way because it sounds like the moon doesn't want to be the way she is or appears to be. I love the personification.
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Hey Crystie!
Hey! This is Shirls, so glad you decided to join allpoetry! I loved your poem, you described everything so well. The only thing I saw that needed to be corrected was on the 9th line, it should be: "Soon, the sun breaks out from the light mist." Not "misty". Other than that, this was a wonderful poem especially for your first time. Have fun and don't forget to check out my poems, ok? Bey! -
This is a very good poem....is this your first time writing because it is very good. Keep it up!!
~Jessi~
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Simple, yet so complex. Great work.
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Thanks
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