When I put my lips like this
All I want is a simple kiss
Just one....only one
Just do it and we'll be done
You said you love me
Kiss me and I will see
I will know if it was right
And this feeling I would no longer fight
But you couldn't do it
'Cause you and I just didn't fit
I new it from the start
But you always said I was in your heart
How stupid was I
You just left and made me cry
I HATE you for doing this
And yet you're the one I miss....
I loved you...I really did
You just thought I was a silly kid
Now I must say goodbye
To my heart...and to you...just another lie..
Author notes
Reunisa(black hearted rebel).....sister
A contest entry
- Options!! Teen Angst.. Teenagers Only Please by TheAshtrayGirl.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 19 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SEEKING AP FAMILY by Three Doves.
525 points, ended February 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - In Honor of reciving 100 HMs by peridotPixi.
681 points, ended July 8, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
Thank you for the beautiful entry to my contest,
I love the way you are craving that simple kiss. I love the feelings you have put with the love and the pain in this poem, I love the “I will know if it was right” this poem is wonderful. I think that if in your last stanza you removed the “but” and also the “and” that this poem would still have the same meaning and would flow a little better, congrats on your two previous HMs
keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy
-
Wonderful write!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadness strums its tune upon hearts harp well orchestrated from within your words causing me to say welcome little sister.
-
fabulous poem you have here. i love it, its full of emotion and definitly alot of teen angst that millions of teens have these days. wonderful job, never stop writing and keep up the awesome work!
xo
kandy -
wow... really good. once again... outstanding work. i think this is my favorite thus far.
-
Well this definitley belongs in a contest called teen angst that's for sure. Well... I can't really say that I enjoyed this too much, the rhyming seemed a bit forced and the words just didn't feel sincere. (Maybe something to do with the word lie in the title.)
Anyways, good luck in the contest, this just really wasn't my cup of tea.
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
