Lost in this world without you,
At the age of seven, you made me sorry
But what you did was so true…
You did what you could
I have the disease, you passed on
Not many understand
All the particular reasons you are gone
I will remember you forever
Grandpa when you died
I thought I was alone in this world
And I still never cried
I stayed strong, or so they thought
Because of my silence,
Like you, I suffered
My brother had outbursts of violence
So they sent him for help
They didn’t even think twice about the older girl
She never took off the mask
At seven my world was just a downward swirl
I miss you still today
I guess that I’ll never be the same
And I know it’s not your fault
But many say you’re at blame
But I know better
The truth is they ignored us
And it hurt, they didn’t even know
And because of them there was an end of us
And now we shall both rest forever in our suffering…
Author notes
This is about my grandpa who suffered from deppression and anxity... and i now have the same problems but when i was 7 my grandpa commited suicide and it was hard for me...but i never cried about it and my brother who didn.t even know the whole truth had anger problems and got help for them but no one even thought i felt anything..
A contest entry
- Give me depressing poetry you have. by karebear.
386 points, ended December 3, 2007, 19 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Grieving (Round 2 – Invite Only) by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ♥ Pain ♥ by Atrophya.
600 points, ended December 29, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Engraved Memories (Take 2) by x Gemini x.
525 points, ended January 17, 2008, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Poor Unfortunate Souls by GypsyEyes.
400 points, ended February 17, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cloak Your Pain in Beauty by strangerforeigner.
700 points, ended February 26, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Missing You...a poem to those lost to suicide or accidental suicide. by azlyn.
513 points, ended April 24, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Two choices: Suicide and Rent by Avalanche.Echo.
300 points, ended September 15, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me about your family. by Zannah.
700 points, ended February 7, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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The rhyming seemed a little forced, but as far as the poem goes, I see where you're coming from. Good luck. ♪
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Other HAND*
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wow, you've won so many trophies @_@ not me... and i see why, you are so amazing with the feelings and the words, most of the time no one really understands what i am writing about, they feel pain, yes, but they aren't sure why, this is the downfall of my poetry. You on the other had, they always know exactly whats going on, they relate and feel as you did. You are so amazing, keep it up!
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oh sweetie mine did too they said.. read my poem about him... I think some one in my family may have killed him because of his wealth... what do I know so young just what he promised me.. this poem is so sad you have written.
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Interesting that you say your brother didn't even know the whole truth. That so often happens in families where such horrific things have happened. There there are others who have to carry the whole story.
I hope you can overcome the weight of your family history. This is a very powerful piece you have written.
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How completely sad and sorrowful! Thank you for sharing your pain with us!
Az -
This is quite the sad read. I know what it's like to be the silent, suffering one, while the "squeaky wheel gets the grease." However, I wish you has used more specific language in the poem itself, and I didn't have to read your author notes to understand what's going on. Thanks for entering!
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congrast on silver, this is a lovely poem, so painful and beautiful, keep up th work, and good luck int he contest =)
stephanei -
i'm so sorry about your loss! i love the raw emotion in your piece! thank you for entering and i wish you good luck!
NineTailedFox -
Thank you for entering my contest.
I suffer from anxiety and depression as well, so its easy for me to relate to how hard it must have been, and for hard it is for others to handle whatever consequneces come for that.
"They didn’t even think twice about the older girl
She never took off the mask" Particuarly caught my attention. Its amazing how many people will actually do that - pretend its all ok.
Overall I find it a maginificant, truthful write, that combines complex emotions and simple language that many can apperciate. -
Im sorry. May he rest in peace.
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In this line:
"I was thought I was alone in this world"
It probably should be:
"I thought I was alone in this world"
Other than that - great job. I can see why this won silver.
Very sad! I knew an old man once who I thought was okay, and he commited suicide too. It's just so hard to grip. I like how you got your feelings out in this. That's what poetry is for. Good job! -
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thanks for the correction.. ya know you cant catch them all the time!!!
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wow
that is about all i can say. you are an amazing poet. I love your work! It really touches the heart and makes people wonder that haven't been through loss how others survive. Being strong is hard. But again, I love your writing. I look forward to reading more.
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thank you very much! I am thrilled that you enjoyed this and i hope you do read some of my others for they all come from the heart like this one!!!
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