I wrap this skin that burns,
with a void beyond perception
as I inhale each moment,
second by second,
hunting for the silent infinite.
Trapped within words,
unborn memory in a seashell:
"I once was eternal."
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Such a powerful write in few words. Greath piece.
pixie -
you do such an awsome job with short writes this one left me wanting more more.. I loved the last lines
unborn memory in a seashell:
"I once was eternal. Very awsome!
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Wow!!!!!!
"hunting for the silent infinite.
Trapped within words,
unborn memory in a seashell:"
Powerful lines with raw emotion and meaning... Wonderful write!! Beautifully penned
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"void beyond perception"
So poignant and full of meaning.
"inhale each moment"
What a unique way to use the word inhale.
"unborn memory in a seashell"
Great metaphor. More than great--it's so image-provoking and it also sounds really poetic.
I love how the first and last sentences both begin with "I".
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Very nice. You are a good writer. Your style is smooth and your diction well thought and intelligent. Well done.
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I enjoyed this. I don't know that I know exactly what it is about, however a lot of varying and powerful images flashed in brain as I slowly read it, and for that I love it!
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It almost seems like a lament, although a peaceful and serene one. I love the ending, it just seems very powerful. Good job.
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Impressive ...
This is very simple ...
Yet intriguing ...
I love the first line ...
It's an amazing ending as well!
[I'm all about strong endings]
Congrats! -
i love this peice it is simple yet amazing
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A superb write. I am mystified by the flow of the words and the images you potray in this poem. Very unusual and it gripped me. It creates such a deep and powerful depth of imagination..
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So... calm. A very interesting write - I did so much enjoy. I believe I shall read this again and again as it continues to unfold itself to me. Well penned
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