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I Stole A Line From Someone Else's Verse

Missing image

You called ...

 

When I was wandering lonely as a cloud

Filled with remorse

I had stolen a line of someone else’s verse

Finding refuge in plagiarism

But even worse I believed it to be mine

 

You found redemption in rejection

Sensing it was my time

Knowing there is a certain continuity

In uncertainty ...I was mouthing nursery rhymes

With both lips pursed

 

Line by line

You morphed into a mono-maniacal honey bee

Fixating on one single dying honeysuckle tree

You were serendipitously out of sync

With mother earth

 

Twisted love creates dangerous chemistry

A back-handed sort of die-hard alchemy

Prescribed (to some) shortly after birth

 I once played those broken records scratched by a heart of glass

Once believing them ... almost.to be ... great symphonies

 

But you curse tranquility

Desire soon came to be a burr

Embedded up my ass

... yeah I heard you calling ... I even heard you cry

 …heaven knows why it affected me

 

My god your dramas wear me out!

You are every broken record scratched with broken glass

Your are the burr stuck up my ass

 Gifted…?

 ... without a doubt

 

But tell me ... if I never really let you in

Just how the hell now do I get you out?

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • wickedangel25
    December 20, 2007
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    Love this.Fave line "you found redemption in rejection."Great emotions.


  • UnchartedPoet
    December 20, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I hate being betrayed, makes me angry and then turn bitter, you most certainly capture this whole idea of that side. You have delivered a great piece, thanks for sharing and congrats on your trophy win with this work, well deserved.

    Jen


  • Ilma
    December 8, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I thought it was perfect.
    There are no other words to describe it.
    Well done =]


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    December 8, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    without a doubt



    And besides ... if I never really let you in

    Then tell me ... just how the hell do I get you out?



    This is what the life is and this is what the truth is ..when you treat this love with the heart..it turns into the pieces and the each piece is turned into the magic of the love..what a deep poem you are narating here..this is a strange yet beautiful..This is sad yet ..very enjoyabale..Thank you so much for sharing such a thought provoking poem..well done...


  • Shandilliahosen
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This poem seems to gradually change tone and style from line twelve to the end. I most enjoyed the first seven lines and I also liked the last stanza quite a bit. The language changes from sort of pretentious to colloquial. It seems to imply a sort of disillusioning of the speaker throughout the course of the events relived in the poem. The overall idea I get is that someone is remembering the relationship and then the mood changes as the end of the relationship nears and comes to pass. The beginning seems dreamy. The end seems very bitter.


  • emoxanarchy
    November 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    well written


  • Emile
    November 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Good

    This is an interesting and provocative poem dealing with feelings of betrayal and anguish. Nice flow of words attracting the reader with their simplicity of purpose, resulting in a pleasant sounding poem ending on a frustrated note. The poem uses unusual and somewhat taboo imagery to make a statement.


    • malkinpuss silver member
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Emile

      Thank you, as always, for reading my work and leaving a thoughful, intelligent comment.


  • Lisa74
    November 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Great Work!

    Well written. I really enjoyed it. I wish you well and God Bless. Lisa

    • malkinpuss silver member
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      Lisa74

      Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Your comment is appreciated.


  • WayWithWords
    November 30, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    the ending was very good. I'm not one for any sort of language in a piece but putting that aside, this was very very well written. You use complex imagery and wording forcing us to dig deeper and search the poem to find it's true meaning. I loved your line about finding refuge in plaigerism.
    WWW*


    • malkinpuss silver member
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply

      WayWithWords

      Thank you so much for your comment. I try always to go out of the box and explore all forms of poetry. I love the challenges, they forces me to re-think, and maybe redefine emotions. But mostly I want to thank you for taking the time to read my work and leave a comment that is both intelligent and encouraging.

1 - 12 of 12