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Greensleeves; Octosyllabus

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Greensleeves; Octosyllabus

Alas, my love you do me wrong
And who but my Lady Greensleeves
Bid me my dear, O hear my song
Perchance your love in summer eves

And who but my Lady Greensleeves
Hath waged both life and promise land
Perchance your love in summer eves
Will beckon thee, O take my hand

Hath waged both life and promise land
Thou couldst d’sire no earthly thing
Or beckon thee, O take my hand
Thy music for to play and sing

Thou couldst d’sire no earthly thing
Bid me my dear, O hear my song
Thy music for to play and sing
Alas, my love you do me wrong

 

 

 

Author notes

Based on the lyrics from Greensleeves.

Pantoum:
The pantoum consists of a series of quatrains rhyming ABAB in which the second and fourth lines of a quatrain recur as the first and third lines in the succeeding quatrain; each quatrain introduces a new second rhyme as BCBC, CDCD. The first line of the series recurs as the last line of the closing quatrain, and third line of the poem recurs as the second line of the closing quatrain, rhyming ZAZA.

The design is simple:

Line 1
Line 2
Line 3
Line 4

Line 5 (repeat of line 2)
Line 6
Line 7 (repeat of line 4)
Line 8

Continue with as many stanzas as you wish, but the ending stanza then repeats the second and fourth lines of the previous stanza (as its first and third lines), and also repeats the third line of the first stanza, as its second line, and the first line of the first stanza as its fourth. So the first line of the poem is also the last.

Last stanza:

Line 2 of previous stanza
Line 3 of first stanza
Line 4 of previous stanza
Line 1 of first stanza

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A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Swan song gold member
    December 3, 2007
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    Yes deserving of the gold most assuredly beautiful poem as always silky smooth Amera style

  • Frodofan
    December 1, 2007

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    This reminds me of something the unknown author of Greensleeves might have written before he wrote the song. Congrats on the gold.


  • jo-el
    November 30, 2007

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    i thought this was laid out so pretty. this is my second favorite form of yours i think. i believe i told ya before my fav is the villanelle. anyways...the repeated lines always give the work a remarkably musical quality when read aloud. 3rd stanza really stood out to me. nice word choices throughout. excellent


  • Tarja
    November 30, 2007

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    OMG! Okay... I have pretty much just fallen in love with you! Thank you so much for this fresh and fantastic entry! I LOVE IT! (The background is a little fruity and throws me off everytime I look at that little fairy but OH WELL!) The poem itself is so much more than I could have asked for from this contest! I just love it. Thank you so so much for entering and good luck!


    • Amera gold member
      November 30, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      You are so right! I changed the background. Thank you


  • sunny day
    November 30, 2007

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    I love the use of poetic language in your verse. You make any form that you pen look so easy and you always amaze me in the process. A very melodic Pantoum that you have done here. It sang out to me as I read on. It's magnificent. The rhythm and rhyming were superb as usual and it was filled with such profound imagery. Thank you for sharing the gift of your pen with all of us once again and best wishes in the contest. Love you my friend, Joyce


    • Amera gold member
      November 30, 2007

      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Joyce,
      Legion has it that King Henry VIII wrote Greensleeves for Anne Boleyn. I loved taking his words and putting them into verse.

      Love,
      Amera♥


  • Ithica silver member
    November 30, 2007

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    That is one of my most favorite songs EVER! Like the old english vocabulary here too. Another wonderful piece for posterity! Wishing you good luck!


  • penman gold member
    November 30, 2007

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    Excellent

    Another incredibly skillful use of form for such the wonderful lyrics of Greensleeves. Best of luck in the contest.


  • PerVirtuous
    November 30, 2007

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    What a great take on the prompt!! This is very well conceived and executed. The repitition seems to create an atmosphere of great sorrow amist great joy. The language is filled with emotion. I love this.


  • PassionsPromise gold member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful job here.
    Very impressive piece. Between you and Allan my heart aches.
    These are some deep pieces. Best wishes to you in the contest.
    Love you
    Mistress Passions..........

1 - 12 of 12