I never dreamt,
you wouldn't be.
I never thought,
I couldn't see.
I never knew,
the hidden scenes.
I never spoke,
those dreaded things.
You always knew,
what couldn't be.
You always spoke,
of mystery.
You always thought,
of your retreat.
You always dreamt,
of this deceit.
We never were.
We never saw.
We never loved.
You always lied.
Author notes
hmm, yea not sure how good this is.
Over you - Daughtry.
A contest entry
- Other Point of View by Beauty Sleeps.
1050 points, ended December 15, 2007, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Thanks guys, I appreciate the comments. I wasn't sure how I felt about the last stanza at first that was probably the most time consuming piece of the entire poem but I think it works being different. I think like BeautySleeps said, it sets it apart, but I definitely see where it doesn't seem like it completely fits and maybe that's what I like about it lol.
♥ -
Actually, I enjoyed the last stanza. It sets it apart from the rest of the poem and really sums everything up. Lyrics, as this poem was based on, often have a last stanza that stands apart so at the end of the song you say, "Wow."
I wouldn't change it!
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
Kate
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I really enjoyed it the flow was great right till the last stanza. The last stanza lost the flow of rhyme. I would only recommned fixing the last stanza. Other than that it is great! And you don't have to if you don't want to I was just suggesting
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