A womb, a world, a home
A baby daughter left in the cold
An empty wish left to roam
A father's arms become a tomb
Spine and femur left to mold
A womb, a world, a home
A fresh vanity, a type of clone
Another for the river rats to behold
An empty wish left to roam
Sped whichever way he's blown
Kissing others' feet as he's told
A womb, a world, a home
A seven year old baby, grown
Covered in lipstick and gold
An empty wish left to roam
No facet of ugliness left to be shown
The darkness is deep, thorough and bold
A womb, a world, a home
An empty wish left to roam
Author notes
I haven't done a villanelle in a reeeeally long time, so if I messed it up please let me know. Rhyming isn't my forte, per se..... so yeah.
A contest entry
- What Do You See Now (Round 1) by just mercedes.
500 points, ended December 6, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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thank you for your entry. I'm very surprised, as I can't seem to relate the poem to the prompt at all. Your poem is well written, and full of dark images, totally opposed to the prompt idea of sunrise.
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conspicuous picturebecause of your caption
you perform human
this made me loopy without possibilities but I kept looking
I don't know if the impact were from exact affectation. yet your slideshow of painful stops spliced with starts exhibited a complicated feeling of arrayed years of generated life. {Shattered and sensations.} My stomach sounded it with muscles of a wadded up paper I could cease writing comfortably for signature tries.
my acclamation is giving you my comment points count,
also called


