And then ... my father died
the retraced rivulet, which gurgled
during spring my name
was brought to a sudden
! HALT !
freezing in the trailing tracks
of deers etched in the soft
pulps of moist undergrowth
( ... now it is only the lonely owl
sitting in his silence daring to recall
that black winter with short but sorrowful
sounds of foretelling - reflecting circled rings
of twin moons painted heavily in lifeless eyes)
she stepped out in the darkness of that night carrying
the coat of snow like a boa draped around
her shoulders: and then ... my father died.
The red poinsettia at the front gate
screamed in its perfection:
who
with unsteady hand
has painted black frames of pain on white entrances?
myra
Author notes
With words like "retrace, recall", and the tautology "trailing tracks", "circled rings", "darkness of that night", "only the lonely", I endevour to paint a picture of the repetitive pain of memories.
Written January 28th, 2002
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Thank you both for different, but also similar views. I am honoured to be able to meet all voices here.
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Myra, this is wonderful writing. Just a pleasure to read and appreciate. Nothing against Le Birk, but he doesn't know what he's talking about.
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Myra;
You make wonderful use of what scholars call 'The Pathetic
Fallacy.' But hold on-- this is not really a negative term.
The PF, if properly used, lends a great effect to the music of
language.
As you may knopw, the Pathetic Fallacy is making use of objects
or forces outside the narrator's mind and lending human characteristics.
The High Victorians were masters at this device; ie. Tennyson,
Coleridge, Noyes, etc.
I'd like to recommend a poem for you to read by Patrick McDonagh, titled,
'She Walked Unaware. In fact you could type this title into the
Google Browser and it should come right up.
Anyway, congratulations for writing a fine poem!
Cheers,
Le Birk -
Thanks Dragonlady ... I'm getting there ... but losing a father at 3 does take a lifetime to overcome ...
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Oh yes, it is screaming out in pain. An excellent choice of words. Thanks for sharing. Hope you're doing okay.
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