You can't quit until you tried
You can't live until you died
You can't learn to tell the trueth
Until you've learned to lie
Can't breath until you've chocked
Nothing like seeing a new born
To make you feel ALIVE
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
You will swear on your life
That everyone will cry
In the delivery room
I know things that you don't
I've done things that you won't
There is nothing like a trail of blood
or a giant hand
to find your way outside
You can't quit until you tried
You can't live until you died
You can't learn to tell the trueth
Until you've learned to lie
Can't breath until you've chocked
Nothing like seeing a new born
To make you feel ALIVE
You've waited in your host
Now that you're out
Yopu will see
That life is so much worse
Don't you feel alive
Fresh out of the womb
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
You will swear on your life
That everyone will cry
In the delivery room
Just open your eyes
And see that life is beautiful
You will swear on your life
That everyone will cry
In the delivery room
As you are
The present that everyone
Has come to see
"Zachline Jessabelle Diestalow
You are now a part of this tree"
Author notes
Current newest memeber to my family, i went to Alabama to visit my Brother, although, it was to take care of his kids while he and his wife went to the hospital to have her kid.
So I got to baby sit 4 kids, Briana, Blake, Issac and Tadum for 3 full days, and this happened on day Three where I got to chose the middle name, after he came home I got a new pair of shoes. I did this as a family favor, i wasn't expecting anything in return.
I just found this poem that I wrote on the plane ride home, its more than 2 months old.
option 1
In a list
A contest entry
- anything goes by Lola Green.
370 points, ended January 11, 2008, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Multi-option Contest by Deus Proteje.
600 points, ended February 1, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me Everything you've Got by CrystalJet.
600 points, ended March 14, 2008, 318 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
Redeemable
I think it's good, but thoroughly redeemable in the sense that if you rework it it could be fantastic, and hence it can redeem itself (currently it's sitting at the, "that's nice" mark).
You are the third entrant who did NOT state his option number in the Author Notes like I requested. I could disqualify you for this, but I am not going to do so because I'm judging people on their work, not on their ability to remember to put a number in. Others will not be as kind, so in future please do so.
Best of luck to you my friend. -
Much to be said about this. I really enjoyed this read. thank you for sending this in and keep up the good work.
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