the beat generation
whose banner flies high
of the yage letters redux
and soldiers of mis-fortune
sacred substances
of self abusive
and funereal smiles
tobacco dreams
for medicinal purposes
of course
familial values
and coin tokens surpassed
and days where working for a living
just causes so much heartache
alcoholic imbibing
is a case of suicide by degrees
like fundamentalism
and anthrax
disease's of cultures defined
by their boundaries of madness
declaring war
on everything decent and pure
like
sex and death
while taking drugs to survive
this ephemeral reality
exposed
so...
be compassionate
and love until you die
because
no matter which way you cut it
it's all suicide by degrees
Author notes
Beat Poetry style...
Yage - "yagé" or "yajé" (both pronounced [ja'he]) in Colombia; popularized in English by the beat generation writers William S. Burroughs and Allen Ginsberg in The Yage Letters.
"ayahuasca" or "ayawaska" in Ecuador, Bolivia and Peru, also to a lesser extent in Brazil ("vine of the dead" or "vine of souls": in Quechua, aya means "spirit," "ancestor," or "dead person," while waska means "vine" or "rope"). The name is properly that of the plant B. caapi, one of the primary sources of beta-carbolines for the brew - Ayahuasca (Quechua, pronounced [aja'waska]) is any of various psychoactive infusions or decoctions prepared from the Banisteriopsis spp. vine, native to the Amazon Rainforest (which is also called ayahuasca). The resulting drinks are pharmacologically complex and used for shamanic, folk-medicinal, and religious purposes.
Source: Wikipedia
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2625 points, ended December 1, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes.. by IamRemy.
625 points, ended December 16, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I'm so
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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NOt a bad write, and as I read comments below, there are a variety of responses. As to my response, I think it lacks depth, and shows little abstract ideas. I did like the poem however, the entry for this contest I must tell you it's not really what I'm looking for. Good luck in your other contests, thanks for entering,
Steven -
The ending wrapped it up nicely.
Thank you for joining! -
You have some grammar and spelling mistakes; reread for those things!
It's unfortunate that you didn't place POM or your theme in the author notes...
I'm not entirely sure what your theme is, which makes me think you should evince it a bit more clearly. I think that could be achieved just by balancing your show and tell a bit. You do more telling than showing, except for stanza 2. You do have some good imagery though; use more of that!
Emotion is strong here, and you're using many emotionally loaded terms, which works for what you're trying to achieve here. You make the reader feel and see your frustration with these things, and at the end the sense of resignation, or maybe just defeat.
It did make me think, but maybe a bit too much! I want to know what I've read by the end of the poem. -
Very impressive. I had a bit of difficulty finding your theme - both within the poem and in the author notes, but it is there. Not having punctuation or capped letters made this hard for me to follow your thoughts. I know it’s a style many poets use, but I believe it‘s harder to control the flow of a poem without it and this seemed just a tad bit choppy to me.. There’s quite a bit going on within the write...but you pull it together especially at the end, and the ending is very powerful. On a personal level I’m not sure I like this as well as Bear and Rosewood Angel do, but I think it will still score quite well. I loved the title and unique theme.
Thanks so much for your entry, and good luck to you.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Superb entry ~
I even like the metaphoric Border you threw in for good taste ~
OK....this is the best read thus far ~
You have used many pleasantries which are uncommon in the PO' contests.....but when you leave your Theme and POW out of your AN.....it just tore this entry up with your Final Score ~
PLEASE....NO EDITING AT THIS POINT ~
Your Theme is Brilliant ~
I love the way you could bring Focus into your write with several topics at once.....great job!
I think the other areas will help bring your score back up.....but it is a shame to see the 2 point deduction for Rules destroy such an inventive entry as this ~
Let's see how well you did in my eyes as Judge ~
Good luck!
Bear ~
Title 10
Flow 9.95
Depth 10
Theme 10
Feelings 9.85
Grammar 9.95
Presentation 10
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 10
Ability to follow Rules 9
Bears Score: 98.95
OUCH!.....That 1 pt. deduction really hurt!
I see your Theme now....sorry!
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This write had the potential to be excellent... wonderful thoughts and a very interesting take on society, great images, powerful closing.......
but having no punctuation and no capital letters made it very hard for me to get into the write, and the flow was affected as well.
Also, you have neither POM nor the theme in your notes, and that is two whole points off your score... sometimes our winners are seperated by a few hundreths of a point, and losing two points is very crippling. **edit** I notice that you do have your theme; my fellow judge, ArkBear had to point it out to me. As such, I've edited your score, but in the future, make it clearer for us :)
Still, NO EDITING!!!
Good luck and no editing!!
* grammar - 8.5
* syntax/flow - 8.7
* understandability - 9.5
* uncommon theme - 9.6
* overall impression - 9
* effectiveness of title - 10
* ability to hook reader - 8.9
* ability to follow rules - 9
* presentation / visual appeal - 9.3
* effective use of poetic devices - 9.9
Total: 92.4
Ouch.
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Remember to put POM in Authors Notes so you won’t be DQ’d.
I’m not at all sure, but I think you might want to check and see if
rather than “ephemereal” you need “ephemeral”. Good representation of The Beat. Good luck with the contest.
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Interesting subject
Good luck in the contest 
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Best wishes.
Write on!
*PEACE*
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Yage? Typo or actual word? I like this. Check out Arkbear's rules, though, re author's notes.
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