Spiraling colors
Swirl like peach-cream yogurt
In front of my eyes.
They pulsate,
Flicker to and fro-
As if trying to confuse me,
Persuade me,
To leave.
Infuriatingly,
The glass of the mottled window
Doesn't let me see through-
Always turning,
Swirling,
Solid to liquid to gas.
Is it a window?
Or a mirror?
An opening to another world,
Universe?
If I stare,
My eyes watering like spring clouds,
Will I disappear,
Evaporating into
A rainbow steam-
To join with the
Enigma itself?
Author notes
Is it a good poem? Awesomely, it came soooo fast, and it turned out soooo good(in my opinion)! To me it really captures the spirit of the stained glass window- what do you think???
A contest entry
- What Do You See Now (Round 1) by just mercedes.
500 points, ended December 6, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under - Prewrite Heaven 2 by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended December 7, 2007, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything goes. by still.she.waits.
600 points, ended April 1, 2008, 113 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Is it good?
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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This is very good. Word choice was perfect and I love the quizzical feel of the second half. Like you're trying to make sense of your surroundings. Excellent especially for an 11-year old, it's very profound.
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You did a beautiful job on this piece. I must say for being 11 this is a highly polished poem. Lots of help or you are truly a high vocab 11 year old which is great. Excellent piece
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Thank you for the comment! And for the silver. Also, I had no help. I just put a lot of thought into it!
Thanks again,
Vivien
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thank you for your entry - yes, this is a good poem. You did as asked when you looked at it, so the lines of the image did move for you. Very good was the opening to another world, and the enigma idea. Well done.
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Thank you!
Thank you for the nice comment, and thank you for the silver!
Vivien
PS. It seems as if this poem can only win silvers... Hmmmm...
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GREAT
i really like that. i'm impressed. thats better then anything i could ever write.
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Wonderful work here and thanks
a lot for sharing your talent here.
Keep up the great work!
Jeremy0826 -
I enjoyed it very much.
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Wow!
That had great imagery. I was very impressed.
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Thank you so much for the comment! I've started to really use imagery more- I used to only skim my skills from the top of the milk... Argh... Another demented metaphor of mine...
Vivien
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