Graceful in a sage green suit;
matching pumps and bag.
My blouse is plum and silky,
complete with designer price tag.
The anchorwoman
on Fox News at Ten
envies my style and flair.
Work out at the gym,
I'm blond, toned and trim;
Male colleagues smile as they stare.
Long hard day of crawling up walls;
kick off my heels by the door.
I throw Lean Cuisine in the microwave,
fix pitcher of gin and Chambord.
Peel plastic film from my entrée,
pour martini with plans for more.
I flip the remote past reruns of Love Boat,
settle on the carpeted floor.
The anchorwoman
on Fox News at Ten
growls orders from her cougar lair.
Like a rat on a wheel,
I chase every squeal;
Knowing soon she'll slip from her chair.
Auburn highlights will glow
as I host my news show -
For soon I'll be anchor there!
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2625 points, ended December 1, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre Written Rhyme by Piccola.
900 points, ended February 5, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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I LOVE this! I am enjoying my day off, on a quiet rainy morning with fresh hot coffee and fantastic poetry.....Oh, this is the kind of read that will put me in a good mood, keep me there and inspire me to write. Absolutly fantastic, unique and relatable. Did I mention I love this?
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excellent~
Wonderful poem you have penned here sweet sis...
I have been back in the hospital for over a week
Home 2 days and had to go back in...everything hit rock bottom...My Red Blood Count even dropped to 10 and normal is 11.5 and up.....I had to get 4 units of blood....
Just got home today at noon...I am so tired and weak....
Best of luck in the contest...this is a winner in my book
Love the lavender background and border..did you do this too?
Hope this gets a trophy for your mantel.....
Keep me in your thoughts & prayers...so sick of being in the hospital..
Have to sign off.....so sick and weak
Again. great poem and imagery as well
Hope to catch up soon
Hugs n love
Your sis
Susan~~~
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I truly enjoyed this. I could picture everything quite clearly as I went along on this daily routine and felt a smirk somewhere along the way. I kind of felt age being elbowed out of the way too; in a humerous kind of way. Thank you for the entry
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a wonderful write. great rhythm and rhyme. filled with vivid imagery. i love it! you are so talented! love your background also. very pretty. thank you for sharing this. keep writing sis! God bless yuou always
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Thanks, Sis!
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Thanks, Mary!
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Cute!
Pure enjoyment. And how true for so many. Life just isn't about "clawing" the way up anything--I go for the more gentle approach. Your poem just drove that home for me. We are, truly, more about life than titles and cash in a rat race. Thank you for sharing this wisdom with us. Also enjoyed your auth. page. It is just full of delightfulness! Question: When you joined Graphaholics, did you have any clue how to create what you now create? I love learning new things, need to, but I would absolutely be learning from the ground up. I already have verses for Greeting Cards and would love to be able to create all of it. Any direction you can provide would be greatly appreciated! Thank you! Be blessed!--Kel
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Thanks!
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excellent~
I think you did great for what the contest called for..
Love the imagery you have in the poem as well
Best of luck in the contest...this is a winner in my book
I have up two new ones ya haven't read hope you drop by and give them a look see I have been in the hospital with bronchitis...feel some better will try and catch up on your new ones as soon as I get to feeling better and read when I am able to sit at the computer awhile....
Hugs
Susan~~~
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oh gosh this is just great!! I love the whole story. I think it was a brilliant idea with the "anchor woman"!!! You have such a clever imagination and I so enjoy reading your work
GBY
SilverButterfly
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Thankies! Had some assistance pulling this off.
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A few punctuation issues, but nothing too bad.
The flow was pretty good, but one inversion: “Put to pasture this old gray mare! ” just struck me as too awkward to work. The rest of the poem was fairly smooth. The rhymes were well-conducted, with only one instance of a forced-sounding rhyme: “Auburn highlights will glow”.
Title was effective and set the tone nicely. Great job!
Your theme was good, although I think you could have given this a bit more depth.
I loved the metaphor “Like a rat on a wheel/I chase every squeal... ”. Definitely made me laugh, and I would have loved to have seen more metaphors like this!
Overall, you have a witty, interesting piece here, just needs a bit more depth, and some tweaking. -
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"witty" !!! That's the word I wanted but couldn't come up with.
Thanks, E!
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Ahhh...I believe you’ve made a few changes to this since I read it yesterday. Although I can’t remember everything exactly as it was, I think you’ve made some improvements already.
As Rosewood Angel said, the rhymes are rather predictable, and I also agree with Bear on the repeating words...especially “Fox News at 10” I really like your theme, even though it didn’t become clear to me until those last couple of lines. Something about the tone of your poem gives me a mixed feeling of haughtiness and...humor, perhaps? I don’t know...maybe it’s just me, but it made it difficult to put this in a “serious” perspective for some reason. There are many things that will score well though, such as imagery. I loved your title, and thought it fit the poem very well. The presentation is classy looking and stylish, very fitting also IMO.
Nice job, and a very enjoyable read. Thanks so much for joining us in the POM and good luck to you.
Best wishes,
~J.
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Hey there Joyce!
*in the microwave*?....( into the microwave ?)
NO EDITING PLEASE!
*Fox News at Ten*.....*pumps*....Repeating words that are not *common* are very noticeable, and takes away from the WOW factor........but just a bit ~
:)
I loved your Theme.....however.....Hmmm....I'm not totally convinced that it will rise above other such Topics in this contest ~
However....it will score highly in some areas of my scoreboard which will help balance out your score ~
Loved your Presentation.....but *sage green suit*.....does not go with your Purple background.....as I would have liked to have seen something more accentuative (sp)? ~
I think the rest of my Categories will tell you more about how I felt about your entry ~
I also want to thank you for taking the time to review so many of the entries which I have seen thus far.....that is very Sportmans-like of you and very much appreciated by the other Poets, I'm sure ~
:)
Let's see how it scores, and thank you for sharing your talents with us again ~
Long time no see!
Bear ~
Title 9.6
Flow 9.75
Depth 9.2
Theme 10
Feelings 9.15
Grammar 9.3
Presentation 10
Uncommonness 10
Sit & Ponder Affect 8.8
Ability to follow Rules 10
Bears Score: 95.8
Not bad......but I think it could have been a bit stronger....good luck!
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Hello, Aunt Joyce :)
Glad to see you in the POM...
This was a very interesting piece with an original theme. I watch the Fox 11 Morning News, and I can imagine this happening back stage... nice insight.
One of the major things that threw me off was the rhyme scheme... the rhyming was very obvious, at least to me, and it threw off the flow for me somewhat.
Also, the theme was a bit cryptic for me while I was reading, but once I read your author's notes, it made a lot of sense.
I'll let my score say the rest :)
Good luck, and no editing :)
* grammar - 9.9
* syntax/flow - 9.4
* understandability - 9.5
* uncommon theme - 10
* overall impression - 9.8
* effectiveness of title - 9.9
* ability to hook reader - 9.7
* ability to follow rules - 10
* presentation / visual appeal - 9.75
* effective use of poetic devices - 9.95
Total: 97.9
Very nice :)
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Good luck in the contest. I like the way this flows and tells a story. Well written
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Well done! The story is captivating and I didn't want it to end. A whole pitcher of martinis huh?
Love,
Amera♥
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Perfect title! First two stanzas define her as a definite "up and comer". Sounds like the 'previous edition' is making sure she has plenty to do, "clawing walls" included! Love the "Lean Cuisine" scene, and "kick off my pumps by the door". Blonde with auburn highlights? Sounds like you could make this one into a soap opera!
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Thank you for the comment and clappies!
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I understand what you are saying and you have said it pretty well. Then again, the title says it all.
I like the lines “I throw Lean Cuisine in the microwave,
fix pitcher of gin and Chambord.” even though I don’t know what Chambord is. Good luck with the contest.
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I think the phrase Fox News at ten is overused, but otherwise this is very well written. You have done well keeping the rhyme together, I like the third stanza best as it is kind of sad and gritty.
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I took out the one in the third verse. It was there to show how fixated she was, and how late it was (ten PM)
but opted for an internal rhyme instead.
Thanks for your comment and applause.
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lol, I can just 'picture' this ladder climber awaiting her chance to anchor! You have painted a very fine picture of this woman - wonderful images, easy to imagine. Well worded, reads nicely. I enjoyed this.
Best wishes in the contest.
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Thank you! I've been trying to get it to work, so thanks for the feedback!
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Wow, ambition at it's best Good luck in the contest
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Best wishes in the contest!
Write on!
*PEACE*
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A wonderful piece, lovely lyrical feel, great flow and a great metaphor. Hugs, Bunny
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