A Love Unknown

No one knows the way I feel.
Of darkness.
And of light.
Opposites.
I know.
An oxymoron.

I've been laughed at so many times, for the things that I love.
No one of my time and age does.

No one knows,
How deeply I cry.
How my heart hurts,
All the time.

Can't trust my friends.
'Casue they like to
Argue with friends,
And become no friends,
Then become friends again,
And I can't take that,
It makes my head spin.

I feel too fat, even though others weigh more.
I do, because of baby fat that is still there, sucking in my gut, everyday of the year. It's painful.
One of my friends does it too,
But only at school.
But still does.
But she's not fat, I should know,
She's my best friend.

The boy I love, might love me back.
But you can't tell,
Because, he flirts with me,
And one of my friends,
And doesn't act on his feelings.

I don't even know,
If I love him anymore.
Sometimes I still get that feeling.
The ones with the butterflies, and my heart racing,
My stamach falling,
And not concentrating.
Once I had a dream this year,
When I was in doubt of my love,
We were walking down the hallway,
And all of a sudden he kiss me.
And I kiss back.
He pulls away.
And takes it back.
Saying he has a girlfriend,
But has feelings for me,
But can't get rid of her,
So he chooses her,
Over me,
Who poured my soul out to him in that kiss,
That made me feel bliss,
For what could have been days, or weeks, or years,
But only a minute had passed,
And he broke my heart.
I thought we were written in the stars.
I guess not.