I hate talking to people who know nothing.
My reputation couldn't get any worse.
I'm the problem child.
I am going on the wrong path but I don't care.
I've thrown love out the door.
I've yanked the Welcome mat out from under it.
I was once standing in depression.
Bu I am standing tall.
Even if all I do is wrong things.
In the words of Skid Row
'We are the Youth Gone Wild!'
Love is gone from my doorstep.
All I except is my music and parties.
I am spending my life on trial
and so is my partner in life.
Nothing will hold us down.
Innocent love hurts too much.
It follows me everywhere.
I'm gone and I love where I stand!
Author notes
I love Skid row.
Yeah, comments please
Comments
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I loved the lines:
"Innocent love hurts too much.
It follows me everywhere."
and also the lines:
"I hate talking to people who know nothing.
My reputation couldn't get any worse.
I'm the problem child."
The problem child in my family is so me, haha.
Great piece of writing.
<3 Jojo of the Darkling Darlings -
Colour Me Real (I love IT).
"Skid Row" is a category, hunh? [I make up my own, too.
]
I would put a stanzal break between lines 3 and 4, allowing the first three lines to be the scene setting intro.
spelling error ("Bu").
Even if all I do is {suggested add: "your"} wrong things.
Who are "Skid Row"? A punk band? A youth group? It Clashes with this Rage Against The Machine memory of mine.
All I except is my music and parties. - Do you really mean "accept"? "except" implies so much ambiguity that it doesn't fit in with the punchy straight forward free verse style of every other line. [Oh: and did love go into your house, or wander off down the street? "Love left my doorstep for other climes." might express the idea more poetically?]
Nothing will hold us down. - Not even each other?
"innocent" actually derives from root words meaning "unhurt". And one can heal from hurt, and thus be both innocent and experienced. As J.Hendrix said, "...but first, are you experienced? Have you ever been experienced?"
It follows me everywhere.
I'm gone and I love where I stand!
- In light of the ultimate line, might one not say "It shadows me everywhere".
Overall, I like the effect of this piece.
As free verse it works well, and as a testament to sincerity and yearning for integrity et alia.
Master Anarchy
aka
The Vampyre Thubbaalon.
"Colour me real gone" is the last line of "Two Lane Black Top", a road movie you might enjoy.
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