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Midnight Cinderella

She walks gracefully through the night,
Her admirers staring in awe.
Ebony hair flowing in the wind.
She fears nothing ,because she is in control.
Her victims have no idea what she really is,
Spinning on the dance floor.
She puts her blood red lips on thier necks.
Her night goes well until it comes.
Dawn brings an end to her fun,
Leaving her runnig through the oaks from the sun

Author notes

Uh this is my first poem so umm tell me what you think(I won't cry if you think it's bad lol)

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Comments


  • Polkadot Cadaver
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I like its short,sweet, and to the point. Plus i love vampires. I dont really know anything about poetry but it seems really good for your first poem


  • T1ger
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Let yourself go a bit, it seems too tightly reined, let the words flow and it will be easier.
    Good write though

  • Eusebius
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    bravo

    I like it, I like it! very deftly done, a tight write, you used those words quite well indeed--glad you reminded me as I'd forgotten! bravo... bravo... bravo...