I see you across the room,
my temperature starts to boil.
My body starts to tremble uncontrollably,
as you leave me here in turmoil.
Breaking down the walls of silence,
I have succumbed to your charm.
Leaving me in awe of your beauty,
and protecting me from all harm.
I wrap you in my blanket of passion,
caressing you through this lonely night.
As our bodies sway with the music,
you kiss and embrace me so tight.
As you look back on your hurtful past,
and all that you've been through,
That wall of silence that you built,
will never again be a part of you.
Author notes
1.) Passion
In a list
A contest entry
- Deeper Meaning by star crossed.
335 points, ended December 17, 2007, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - YOUR BEST PREWRITE OF 2007 - 12 ENTRIES ONLY by maa.
521 points, ended January 4, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Emotions by Scarlettsea.
325 points, ended February 15, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please do not critique it, I like nice comments not bad.
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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forgot the bunnies ...
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thank you for participating in this contest and for sharing your poetic inspirations and your feelings of passion ...
all the best,
maa
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This was really good my love, I can relate to this so well with you. I love you so much, and congrats on the win keep up the amazing writes *hugs n kisses*
your wifey
~~Victoria~~
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very, very good.
this is definitely a passionate poem. Also works well with compassion i think, helping someone break down walls. Beautifully written. Good luck! -
Passion you offered, passion we got. Such beautiful wording with this one, and the flow was amazing. It was so easy to read through, still being filled with these emotions you described here. I love the last two lines also, showing how you can crumble that wall of silence if you just find that one person to do that for you. Beautiful, beautiful work!
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you write so beautifully but you know this lol. i enjoyed this very much . i think the wall of silence is ever so true for to many women and men of coarse. we shelter our selves from the hurt. but you have a good way to break it down. thanks for sharing!! Mrs. Marshall
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Wew! I was bombarded with intense emotions (but in a good way). I love the flow I just sailed right through without a hitch on the words that you have wonderfully weaved in this beautiful piece! Great write thanks for sharing!
Lauren
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BRAVO! BRAVO!
beautiful stunning write! goodness, that was well written
and so soulful and such a delight!
Smart wise poet you did this well!
ears2hearyou
Kathleen : )) gawd...we're all adding you to
our poetic crush list!
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wow! this is a very good piece. very sentimental. thanks for sharing
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Great write. I love the sentiment of the poem. The structure works well and carries the emotive weave of this write. Fantastic.
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nice rhyming, comma fourth stanza second line instead of period. creates a better flow.
Very nice, an enjoyable read. Just one minor thing I saw. Good luck in the contest!
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awesome
this is really good, written the meaning within the pages than on top good way i think to write.
great write
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Nicely done!!!! I know I have said it before but I am gonna say it again... You, my friend, are a hopless romantic!!! Such lovely words you have penned here my friend!!!
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You da man!
My friend, leave it to you to take something that starts out so dark & wrap it up into something so beautiful. You da man!
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Hmmm...good poem.
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Beautiful work my friend! lol
I wish you all the best with this piece
in this contest! Always a pleasure to
read your work and keep it up!
Jeremy0826 -
Beautifully written poem, your poetry is always so breath taking and so beautiful i love your poetry
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