I thought that you were true
I thought that you loved me
I thought that you weren't lying
I thought that you were kind
Then one day I caught you
With her in the dark
Your lips were pressed together
You said you could explain
I guess it's made me stronger
At least now I won't be so quick to trust
I know about you boys now
And how you can't be true
I still love you
But I won't be fooled by you again
Author notes
Crazy Raven
A contest entry
- Next by C J Weatherholt.
525 points, ended January 14, 2008, 38 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Love is more than a four letter word! by Unstoppable.
600 points, ended December 27, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Won't Get Fooled Again by JustWhoIAm.
300 points, ended December 27, 2007, 7 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
the poem doesnt flow well for me. It's more a note than a poem. I wish you were bring ing a stronger message in it as well. Overall it was good but not what I was looking for. thanks for entering
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First of all a good read over all even after these comments keep that in mind. I don't like the line "I thought you were kind" I think it kind of makes the poem suffer a bit of complexity. Same goes for " I know about you boys now" I wouldn't suggest omitting that line just digging to see how maybe you could change it. Thanks again for entering my contest.
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