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[ I thought that you were true ]

I thought that you were true
I thought that you loved me
I thought that you weren't lying
I thought that you were kind
Then one day I caught you
With her in the dark
Your lips were pressed together
You said you could explain
I guess it's made me stronger
At least now I won't be so quick to trust
I know about you boys now
And how you can't be true
I still love you
But I won't be fooled by you again

Author notes

Crazy Raven

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Unstoppable
    December 26, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    the poem doesnt flow well for me. It's more a note than a poem. I wish you were bring ing a stronger message in it as well. Overall it was good but not what I was looking for. thanks for entering


  • C J Weatherholt
    December 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    First of all a good read over all even after these comments keep that in mind. I don't like the line "I thought you were kind" I think it kind of makes the poem suffer a bit of complexity. Same goes for " I know about you boys now" I wouldn't suggest omitting that line just digging to see how maybe you could change it. Thanks again for entering my contest.