How will they ever know?
I was always taught to give
at all cost give,don't be selfish.
"I" was a word that was wrong,
Always who, how, why.
Finally I have to say why not me?
I want my grandpa back
I don't want to watch my stepson slowly die
I don't want my real son to leave for 6 months
I don't want to live with a drug addict anymore
I need my life to change
I really need to be myself
to feel the comfort of someones arm around me at a funeral,
not complaints of how cold they are.
When I find love it will be with someone
who shouts they love me from the rooftops.
For now understanding I cant shout it
for fear of abuse,but when the day comes and it will.
When love finds me I will not hide it in shame.
I will not be worried everyone knows.
I will be proud to love a man that loves me!
Rooftops, nope I have so much love to give
The heavens will hear it!
For I will no longer be afraid.
Vulnerable I have been
because I knew nothing else
nineteen years of nothing else.
As I sit here thinking about who I am and
what I need.
The only thought is I need to be me...
I wont lose my compassion, nor my empathy,
But I will finally after a long long time
consider the I in We.
Author notes
I am having a bad day but an awakening day, this probley makes no sense but it does to me and i own how i feel.
I love how i love..i say no more to alot of things and the past to weeks i have lost alot including my dignity.
I hide for fear but soon that will be over and hiding wont be in my picture of life.
Love will come and Shout i will..
because i will be proud of the person wont worry if anyone knows my business.
Like i said just everyone chalk this one up as just thr redhead in me needing this time instead of always being needed.
In a list
A contest entry
- Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
3000 points, ended August 26, 2008, 1705 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 33 of 33
-
Great job... how you poured your soul out in this piece!
Change your "i"s to capital besides that great job! -
-
Thank you so much
I fixed my I's thanks for pointing that out
-
-
Fantastic! Know what you want?
Yes! Now you can go toward what will attract that kind of love. It is a great poem on the insight level. It could use a little tweaking here and there for the mechanics of poetry but the real value in this work is your fantastic realization of what you want. People don't get what they deserve in life because that thought reeks of humanbased guilt and shame. The Universe sends what we want as long as we don't stop wanting it for any reason. Want it daily and don't let go until you have it all.
Tecohe
-
Sorry for your pain. It's good to get it out though, and let others share it with you. That way, it's not so heavy to carry. Great job - very emotional, and guess what? I can certainly relate. I live with a drunk and a drug addict who are both in denial!!!
-
its hard to comment on someone's emotions. especially when revealing deep feelings.
But i will finally after a long long time
consider the I in We
great write. -
This is a woderful poem, you can feel the emotion in it, comunicated by the words. like a song.
-
It is difficult to concentrate upon the poem, as a poem, without sperating out the the vivid and awful realities (are they real??) that are extrepolated within the poem! If true there is, indeed, a huge amount of stuff on your plate... a very, very fine poem indeed... bravo... bravo... bravo...
-
-
Eusebius
Thank you for your Bravo's!
Yes its all true sadly my plate is so full i need another one.
I understand it was hard to concentrate on the poem in itsself,because i think it was more a explostion of emotions i was feeling. I featured it because i needed anyone,someone to hear me.
Ever feel like nobody hears your crys?
I gratefully Thank you and all who have took time to listen.
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
Great poem. I can definetly relate to forgetting about yourself for everyone else. I hope you will stop hiding soon, and this write is an admirable step towards putting yourself out there. The thing is, "I need my life to change
I really need to be myself"...only you can do that, by choosing to focus on yourself and what you want for yourself. Best of luck. *hugs*
-
-
Perfect
I know what your saying and I thank you for saying it.
For someone who has been taught and self trained to put everyone else first ...its a big challenge to relearn and retrain that i need to be good to myself also.
I thank you for seeing what i was saying in this poem.
Love,
~Lisa~
-
-
This is an absolutly wonderful poem! It obviously has deep emotion behind it, which is how i think it was meant to be! terriffic write
-
-
brokensmile
I wish your smile wasnt broken...
Thank you for saying it was deep. It was raw emotion and i only do that when i feel it.
So it served its purpose and helped me to write it out, get it out!
Thank you again for reading,
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
It is very hard for us to realize that it is important to also take care of ourselves. But we are a child of God, and thus a part of Him and should take care of ourselves like we would take care of Him. As for the poem, this was very emotional and tender and so very touching!!! You reached out and made the reader FEEL and that is what it is suppose to do, great great job on this one!!
-
-
paullady
You are so very right on taking care of what God has given me. My life!
Thank you for reading and your kind words i needed to hear them.
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
I can totally relate in feeling like you're stuck someplace and wanting to get out of what you're in! Sometimes the answer is right infront of you but fear holds you back when you just need to out of faith leap forward if you're really wanting to change
-
-
Kari
Thank you for your words, and reading my poem or rant.
What most even the ones that know me the best is i been trying to leave or get the courage to leave since i joined in may of this year. I came here a broken person over these months i have found myself in my writings. I didnt know i had all these feelings in me.
hugs
~Lisa~
-
-
thanks for sharing
-
well, a very serious write of abuse, finally time for you, for you to receive love, and have enjoyment inside yourt heart, instead of the other way around. It does take and require courage to make changes we need to make in life. Not impossible, but real courage needed. all the best my friend and for sure you can do it. nothing is imposible!. May you be blessed.
-
-
Jules
Thank you for always being who you are,a encourager.
For now i am trying to find the place where i belong and i have no clue where that will be. In this world doing something worthwhile i hope and letting the past agony go.
Its not impossible i know this nothing is impossible with Gods help!
Love,
~Lisa~
-
-
just never ever give up, or surrender to doubt or think I can`t do that. when life is the hardest, that is the time to reach deep and pull out that inner strength and forge ahead, regardless how deep the water or rough the sea. You can do it, as life is filled with challenges. all the best, my friend.
-
-
-
I sympathize with you. I spent my whole life learning how to love and I am now a loving person. Our culture dose very little in showing love. Movies, music, and school teaches the opposite. Selfishness is the order of the day. Many men don't respect women, today. This poem says a lot about abuse and disrespect.
-
-
Poet
I appaud you for saying that it took you awhile to learn. That took guts and i respect that!
You are right on everthing you said.
thanks for reading and again i am glad you are not a selfish person.
~Lisa~
-
-
Sometimes it's nice to just be held and told everything will be alright. Even the strongest need a shoulder to cry on once in a while. Glad to see you are letting it out. Scott
-
-
Scott
Well wow i blew didnt i ? I feel better and yes we all need a shoulder you and Tory always have mine.
Thanks for reading *smile*
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
It most be something in the air with us Redheads this week, Tam, you and I...all let it go, we finally wrote to be heard and understood.
I know you for I understand you...no selfishness in "I" as we were once taught.
Time for freedom for self...love and understanding...not just keeper and caretaker of others..."I" is important and needs love to be able to still care about them.
Wonderfully said, in beauty and grace.
So much meaning and truth in here it is heart breaking and heartfelt.
Fly free beautiful soul and find happiness...for your soul deserves and needs it.
Always in love,
mystic
-
-
mystic
See your not alone in your rehead maddness lol.
The sweetest words you have said ,
Fly free beautiful soul and find happiness...for your soul deserves and needs it.
Thank you sweety
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
A POWERFUL PIECE
very good.. but hum if you are in an abusive relationship you should get out asap there is no reason or excuse you can use for staying if you do you are putting your life in peril.. i know i was in such a relationship gave all kinds of excuses for not leaving but it tool an outsider telling me what he was saying behind my back to make me see the light and just walk out that door and i never returned.. if you need emotional support i am here for you
-
-
Kats
Hun Thank you for the support i know and am heading for the door in the middle of January the only thing keeping me here is waiting on my son to head to Milarty School ..i dont want him here when i make this move because i dont want him breaking his probation before he gets to the milatary school as soon as hes out of here although it breaks my heart to see him leave . I am leaving my husband.
I am not sure he will get abusive ..not to say he hasnt in the past to a point but taking no chances.
He is an addict and will never change.
Thanks for the offer,
Hugs
~Lisa~
-
-
Deep
Very expressiveflow of feelings,great job RED! -
-
I like RED Thanks hun, for reading this crazy write of mine.
Love
~Lisa~
-
-
awwww honey this was a good poem. I liked this poem. You did a beautiful jon on it. I'm glad we're still friends.
-
-
Thank you hun i just neded a good vent and cry.
We are always friends and good to hear from you sorry been alittle distracted as you can see.
Love
~Lisa~
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 33 of 33
