Satan Claws stuck out his paws
and sharpened his nails on a file.
The nemesis twin nurtured in sin
was planning something evil and vile.
He combed his black hair, down in his lair
his burning red eyes lit the room.
He had nothing but hate for his brother of late
so he sat there and pondered his doom.
When Santa pulled away to make happy the day
that comes only once every year.
Mrs. Claws sat at home, frustrated and alone
when she's at her weakest, is when he'll appear.
Santa she said, has a tool nearly dead
that only works once every year.
A pedophile freak, in their homes does he peek
back home in me, he'll discharge his gear.
Satan Claws said, lie down on the bed
put some red lipstick on like a whore.
For when I am done, your lust I'll have won
and barren you'll be never more.
She did what he said and laid down in the bed
and threw her legs up in the air.
Climb into bed, and I'll give you some head
but finish me off down there.
She moaned as he screamed, and in her he creamed
and sowed the seeds of Christmas despair.
How could my brother not make you a mother
now Christmas shall inherit my heir.
He returned to his sleigh and his dragons at play
their red flames had blackened the sky's.
As he left their front yard, he was laughing so hard
black teardrops rolled from his eyes.
Author notes
Form: Triquatrain
In each stanza lines one and three have a double rhyme
In stanzas two and four they share the same end line rhyme
Line 1 AA (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 2 B (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 3 CC (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 4 B (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 5 DD (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 6 E (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 7 FF (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 8 E (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 9 GG (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 10 H (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 11 I I (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 12 H (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 13 JJ (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 14 K (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 15LL (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 16 K (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
In stanzas two and four they share the same end line rhyme
Line 1 AA (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 2 B (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 3 CC (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 4 B (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 5 DD (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 6 E (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 7 FF (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 8 E (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 9 GG (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 10 H (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 11 I I (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 12 H (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
Line 13 JJ (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 14 K (End line rhymes with line 4 end line)
Line 15LL (Internal rhymes with end line)
Line 16 K (End line rhymes with line 2 end line)
I apologise to anyone who gets offended from reading this poem.
In a list
- Fantasy & Fairytale • next in list
- Adult • next in list
- Bronze • next in list
- Adult Humor • next in list
- Triquatrain • next in list
A contest entry
- Holiday Humor by Ktulu Blackwolfe.
550 points, ended December 8, 2008, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Not So Holly Jolly Christmas by Carpe Noctem.
850 points, ended January 7, 16 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Cruel Yule by Green Manalishi.
350 points, ends December 12, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
-
Quite charming I suppose. A lot of effort put in.
-
This was a very amusing piece you have here. It made me chucke. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for entering and best of luck too you in the contest.
-
Oh my, clever and amazing. lol
You just blew me away
Great job
Favorite lines
"Satan Claws said, lie down on the bed
Put some red lipstick on, like a whore
For when I am done, your lust I'll have won
And barren you'll be, never more"
~Serenity -
This was a wonderful to the dark side of Sant'a brother. It almost reminds me of a book by Dean Koontz: "Santa's Twin" Thanks for the laugh.
-
That was wicked. Thank you for this entry. I loved it. Gave me a good laugh.
-
Awesome, gruesome and any other word ending in -some (pwnsome perhaps). I really enjoyed it and laughed as well. I hope you continue to write funny poems throughout your writing career. You may appreciate some of mine as well, for I have an original sense of humor too. Good luck in the contest, I would have no qualms being placed below you in the standings
!
-
Absolutely hilarious. I really enjoyed this little tale you have here. Good luck to you.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Very funny
An adult take on christmas. It is funny and twisted and anyone who knows me, knows I have a twisted mind so this was right up my alley (not like Mrs. Claws though lol) Kudos for a great poem...It had imagery thats for sure!!!! You know how the people on here love imagery and you gave it to them!!!!!! Good Job!
-
WOW! This one had a dark air to it and sexy....sweet! Sounds like Satan Claws is much better than Santa...
-
This is one of the few I've read that made me smile.
Your take on things is so dark.
I love it.
Love.
The knowledge of the goings on behind Santa's back.
The whole, PedoSanta, thing.
Ohman. Just a great write.
Thanks for entering and sharing. -
Haha, definitely terrible. I like the subject-matter, and how you've made something innocent, like the story of Santa Claus, into something so horrid... Parents, hide your children!
Thanks for entering. -
Wow, Great write, excellent rhyming, I love the whole evil santa thing, makes me wonder where in the world you got the idea for this, well done. Thanx for entering and good luck!
-
Not without merit!
-
wow
this is like totally amazing and different from anything i've ever read. thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck! -
Whoaness!
ahaha it's nice to see some dark humor in this one. I was almost afraid this had some erotic tendencies to it but I can't dub it erotic because its so twisted. It drew quite a chuckle and perhaps a few disturbing images to say the least haha. The rhyme was good, not too strained and it made for an interesting tale. I especially enjoyed the last stanza. Great imagination, and refreshing to read some dark humor =) Thanks for entering! And good luck in the contest! -
Well that was....interesting. Creepy indeed. I don't know if I like that Santa's brother's name is Satan. It just doesn't seem to fit. It had a interesting story to it...Anyways, thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
~Kittii
-
great job best of luck
-
Thank You For Entering
This is not a half bad poem and I like your concept and your intenseness you bring with this poem. your words strike at the ehart of the reader and yet in its own way really are quite stunning. a nice little bit of an entry for my contest n kleep up the good n good luck -
Lol, well this is quite the satirical and funny poem you've written around christmas very interesting to say the least of this one!
The flow is pretty good as well as the rhyme in this one
thanks for entering yet another poem!
Leander -
Awesome, I was laughing so hard when I read this. I love the dragon sleigh, it left quite an image...Move over Santa, there's a new boy in town!! LoL
-
heehee I loved this poem. well written, thanks for entering and good luck!!
Adding your comment:
1 - 21 of 21
