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She turned
away

they tossed
IT  as
trash

calling IT
fetus

            she whispered
            "my child"

            as a tear fell

Author notes

~Gold~, ~Gold~, ~Gold~, ~Silver~, ~Gold~





In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 51 of 51

  • Ulimate
    July 21
    Edit | Reply

    *SIGH*

    Great write. You really tapped into the pain a woman feels. Well done.
  • This was definitely hard-hitting and heart-breaking and extremely sad... you described everything in so little words, but it still made a knot in my stomach. It's sad but happens every day. Great write and congratulations on all the trophies
    Jeanette*~

  • i like this but i swear i've read it before...thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
  • This breaks me so much, in so many ways it just kills me... I don't know how, it just does. It rips at my heart.

  • Midoriko
    May 22

    Edit | Reply
    good work. I really like this. maybe not the BESTTTT poem I've ever read, but you did a good job writing your thougths on this in just a few words. Keep it up! best of luck and congrats on your honorable mention.

    CrimsonViper
  • wow very raw and powerful write in such few words..... good write

    thank you for entering my contest and good luck with the judging
    xxx

  • well this brought a tear to my eye...beautiful poem! heartwarming. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox

  • 2lullabyhaven
    April 17
    Edit | Reply
    This speaks volumes, your pen inks welllol


  • Blooming Poet Greeters member
    March 18

    Edit | Reply
    I hate abortion and this made me cry.




    "they" who call it a fetus not a human deserve and hopefully will go to hell.
  • carole21
    March 7

    Edit | Reply

    sad

    very sad write . . calls up many emotions . . liked "they tossed IT as trash" and "she whispered 'my child' as a tear fell" . . good luck in the contest


  • unsigned gold member
    March 3
    Edit | Reply

    wow

    Gulp...see what you mean very graphic I love it and I read on...lol


  • Luminescence
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    I have one question.... why didn't you keep the poem in the contests that you won the golds in.....

    I did love the poem though. It is great, its a sad and horrible topic only because its so real today but this was written impeckably. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck.

  • Cocaine-Eyes
    February 21
    Edit | Reply
    wow...I like this... it's short... and so very true. You done a really good job.

  • scum of the earth
    February 12

    Edit | Reply

    powerful

    For such a short poem it was very powerful. I really liked it alot.
    thanks so much for entering.


  • Naridill gold member
    January 28

    Edit | Reply
    Hrm - this piece hits me in all different directions and knowing that choices are choices and this could be two separate things - I better not ask.

    Thanks for entering,
  • Mirthryl
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Outstanding from title to conclusion. Well used capitals emphasizing the un-humanizing of the unborn. You leave open the "she", the potential birth mother, a grandmother, a prospective adoptive mother, perhaps yet another. Powerfully done. Congrats on the gold!


  • Freed by Mercy silver member
    January 14

    Edit | Reply
    Such power in so few words. A courageous piece, a punch in the gut.
    Congrats on winning the Gold.


  • Celticmoon silver member
    January 11

    Edit | Reply
    I love this!
    Now this is totally what I enjoy reading!
    Powerful message, strong images, clearly written, hard hitting and it has it all. Certainly a fine write worthy of both golds it has thus far received. This is definately one for my finalist list Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!


    Blessings
    Bel

  • PonyPride
    January 3
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    That was excellent and in only a few words, however it was a little too simple to be a quote.

  • WolfHeart
    January 2
    Edit | Reply
    Exquisite gem. You have it all in these few words. Most excellent work!

    Wolfie

  • Ankita DG
    January 1

    Edit | Reply
    Loved it!! It is hauntingly beautiful. It is surprising how something as short can contain so much. Your poem churned my insides.

    Thanks. Good luck in the contest!

    Keep writing.
    Ankita

  • Midnight-x-Rose silver member
    January 1
    Edit | Reply
    That's very haunting indeed.
    Some people can be so cruel and callous to other human beings and animals, not knowing nor caring how the other entity feels. Makes you want to scream and cry at the same time.

  • JM Kenyon silver member
    December 22, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very short, very powerful. I admire the ability to bring a "moment" to life... a single, brief spell in the course of a lifetime that changes everything, bears consequences that can't be avoided...

    Great job. s and best wishes always... ~Genie~

  • shzoosyQ gold member
    December 13, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    too sad, too true, what a message sent in so few words... peace my friend.... desi


  • Karen Layne
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I'm glad you posted this (I'm taking the author's note to mean you didn't WRITE it) So many refuse to step up to the issue of aboution. Kudos!

  • zochit2me gold member
    December 13, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Wow...
    This is speechless as well as sad,
    I love the way the small txt at the end leaves one thinks a faint whisper.
    A fine job on this poem.

    Becky


  • Thanatos
    December 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This sent chills down my spine. that's actually quite difficult to do.

    [I honestly appreciate this one more than the current "cricket". This has a huge shock factor, and there's so much to ingest in such little wording. This is brilliant. Good luck.


  • Birgitte silver member
    December 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    wow. very few words saying a lot. I guess this is one those that you can freely interpret as you want to. I really like it.
    However, you broke a rule in this one, so I can't consider it.

  • Oktobere Sahnge
    December 1, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Wow

    So few words can really tear up your heart. *nods* Bravo. Good luck.

    Lys, Empress of Pandas


  • Dalaney gold member
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    geez...was not expecting this but wow...what a powerful write! You definitely have scored with this eye opener. Congrats on the Gold...glad to see the judge agrees with me.

    Love, Lane

    . Rewarded 4


  • puzzledone121
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    dont know much about poetry...particularly modern,meaning new forms...but you sure got the message across...with impact...nice and congratulations

    . Rewarded 4


  • Jillybean128
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Incredible

    This piece stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Nicely done with this write and congrats on the gold...you deserve it!

    ~Jillybean128


  • whitesunlight
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Damn. You just slammed your fist on the table as gently as I've ever seen. Bravo.


  • Grey Mouser
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Congratulations on the GOLD! sweetheart. I knew this was powerful.

    Love,
    Mouser

  • Tam gold member
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    TARGET BLOW

    wow...sis...talk about impact...
    this is IMPACT with precise ammunition to the soul...
    only you can do these writes with so much power...
    others can evoke emotion...
    but this is BRUTAL poetry...
    worthy of the the gold indeed...
    congrats beautiful!
    love,
    sis


  • penciledlives
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Definitely deserved the gold trophy...


  • Malabu
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Congrates girl

    well deserved!

  • Quiet places
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Congradulations!!

    I knew you have a masterpiece here my dear kimmy!! So happy for your Gold on this poem!! Luvamus You!! Don

  • X-Queen-Georgia-X silver member
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Wondrful piese you definately deserved gold


  • Gypsy-Princess gold member
    November 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    OMG ~ And she makes the reader applaud... x


  • ravensgift gold member
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    I have goosebumps. So simple and So deep and painful.


  • Grey Mouser
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Painful thoughts of a choice made that can never be turned back. One that many dread remembering. Excellently and poignantly expressed message. Well done and best to you in the contest.

    Mouser


  • Quiet places
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thought provoking!!

    Yes, a painful memory for me my dear! Happened to me twice in my younger days and was a shock to my sysetem for years afterward. Ladies love your babies! Excellent poem hun! Great message! Don


  • Malabu
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    ahh the question of life or is it just fetus...I believe...life day of inception...
    and I cry for anything more


  • Oceanqueen
    November 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Omg this is amazing and very sad.

  • Jeremy0826 gold member
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep and sad.
    I love your take on the prompt.
    I can tell you gave this one a lot
    of thought. Well done and good luck
    to you here!




    Jeremy0826
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