She turned
away
they tossed
IT like
trash
calling IT
"fetus"
she whispered
"my child"as a tear rolls
down her face.
Author notes
~Gold~, ~Gold~, ~Gold~, ~Silver~, ~Gold~
In a list
A contest entry
- Enter All Your Personal Writes Here (Part IV) by xxRainbowDawnxx.
900 points, ended May 24, 2008, 208 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Mind Manipulation - The Truly Most Dangerous Game by Shikamaru-Nara.
450 points, ended October 16, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Name one thing you would like to see gone in this world. by Tqop.
700 points, ended July 25, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 56 of 56
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Abortion is something God abhors. Thanks for the poem. Thanks so much for your entry.
Amare
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sad and sick, but truthful...poignant.
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Wow what a start reality and such an honest piece, it is so true of our world today. Best to you in the contest
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This stands out for its stark reality and truth..wonderfully well captured, congrats on the trophies!
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This is a very sad write. I agree with your point of view but not everyone will. Thanks for sharing it and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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very strong infact stupendous
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This might not be how you expected to connect with me, but This reminded me SO much of how Edward and Jacob were thinking of Bella's baby for a little bit in "Breaking Dawn." Till that is, when they came to love the thing in the last few days...
Great write!
Good luck! ^^ -
Ty for entering and good luck
Wow so sad -
Perfect!
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this is raw and hard hitting! you almost want to look away not to have to read the words because you know what's coming
direct. powerful.
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*SIGH*
Great write. You really tapped into the pain a woman feels. Well done. -
This was definitely hard-hitting and heart-breaking and extremely sad... you described everything in so little words, but it still made a knot in my stomach. It's sad but happens every day. Great write and congratulations on all the trophies
Jeanette*~
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i like this but i swear i've read it before...thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! ~CarnalNineTailedFox
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This breaks me so much, in so many ways it just kills me... I don't know how, it just does. It rips at my heart.
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good work. I really like this. maybe not the BESTTTT poem I've ever read, but you did a good job writing your thougths on this in just a few words. Keep it up! best of luck and congrats on your honorable mention.
CrimsonViper -
wow very raw and powerful write in such few words..... good write
thank you for entering my contest and good luck with the judging
xxx
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well this brought a tear to my eye...beautiful poem! heartwarming. thank you so much for entering my contest and i wish you the best of luck! NineTailedFox
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This speaks volumes, your pen inks welllol
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I hate abortion and this made me cry.
"they" who call it a fetus not a human deserve and hopefully will go to hell. -
sad
very sad write . . calls up many emotions . . liked "they tossed IT as trash" and "she whispered 'my child' as a tear fell" . . good luck in the contest
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wow
Gulp...see what you mean very graphic I love it and I read on...lol
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I have one question.... why didn't you keep the poem in the contests that you won the golds in.....
I did love the poem though. It is great, its a sad and horrible topic only because its so real today but this was written impeckably. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. -
wow...I like this... it's short... and so very true. You done a really good job.
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powerful
For such a short poem it was very powerful. I really liked it alot.
thanks so much for entering.
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Hrm - this piece hits me in all different directions and knowing that choices are choices and this could be two separate things - I better not ask.
Thanks for entering,
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Outstanding from title to conclusion. Well used capitals emphasizing the un-humanizing of the unborn. You leave open the "she", the potential birth mother, a grandmother, a prospective adoptive mother, perhaps yet another. Powerfully done. Congrats on the gold!
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Such power in so few words. A courageous piece, a punch in the gut.
Congrats on winning the Gold.
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I love this!
Now this is totally what I enjoy reading!
Powerful message, strong images, clearly written, hard hitting and it has it all. Certainly a fine write worthy of both golds it has thus far received. This is definately one for my finalist list
Thank you for entering. Best of luck to you!
Blessings
Bel
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Wow
That was excellent and in only a few words, however it was a little too simple to be a quote. -
Exquisite gem. You have it all in these few words. Most excellent work!
Wolfie
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Loved it!! It is hauntingly beautiful. It is surprising how something as short can contain so much. Your poem churned my insides.
Thanks. Good luck in the contest!
Keep writing.
Ankita -
That's very haunting indeed.
Some people can be so cruel and callous to other human beings and animals, not knowing nor caring how the other entity feels. Makes you want to scream and cry at the same time. -
Very short, very powerful. I admire the ability to bring a "moment" to life... a single, brief spell in the course of a lifetime that changes everything, bears consequences that can't be avoided...
Great job.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
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too sad, too true, what a message sent in so few words... peace my friend.... desi
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I'm glad you posted this (I'm taking the author's note to mean you didn't WRITE it) So many refuse to step up to the issue of aboution. Kudos!
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Wow...
This is speechless as well as sad,
I love the way the small txt at the end leaves one thinks a faint whisper.
A fine job on this poem.
Becky
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This sent chills down my spine. that's actually quite difficult to do.
[I honestly appreciate this one more than the current "cricket". This has a huge shock factor, and there's so much to ingest in such little wording. This is brilliant. Good luck.
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wow. very few words saying a lot. I guess this is one those that you can freely interpret as you want to. I really like it.
However, you broke a rule in this one, so I can't consider it. -
Wow
So few words can really tear up your heart. *nods* Bravo. Good luck.
Lys, Empress of Pandas
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geez...was not expecting this but wow...what a powerful write! You definitely have scored with this eye opener. Congrats on the Gold...glad to see the judge agrees with me.
Love, Lane
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dont know much about poetry...particularly modern,meaning new forms...but you sure got the message across...with impact...nice and congratulations
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Incredible
This piece stopped me in my tracks and made me think. Nicely done with this write and congrats on the gold...you deserve it!
~Jillybean128
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Damn. You just slammed your fist on the table as gently as I've ever seen. Bravo.
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Congratulations on the GOLD! sweetheart. I knew this was powerful.
Love,
Mouser -
TARGET BLOW
wow...sis...talk about impact...
this is IMPACT with precise ammunition to the soul...
only you can do these writes with so much power...
others can evoke emotion...
but this is BRUTAL poetry...
worthy of the the gold indeed...
congrats beautiful!
love,
sis
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Definitely deserved the gold trophy...
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Congrates girl
well deserved! -
Congradulations!!
I knew you have a masterpiece here my dear kimmy!! So happy for your Gold on this poem!! Luvamus You!! Don
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Wondrful piese you definately deserved gold
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OMG ~ And she makes the reader applaud... x
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I have goosebumps. So simple and So deep and painful.
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Painful thoughts of a choice made that can never be turned back. One that many dread remembering. Excellently and poignantly expressed message. Well done and best to you in the contest.
Mouser
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Thought provoking!!
Yes, a painful memory for me my dear! Happened to me twice in my younger days and was a shock to my sysetem for years afterward. Ladies love your babies! Excellent poem hun! Great message! Don
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ahh the question of life or is it just fetus...I believe...life day of inception...
and I cry for anything more
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Omg this is amazing and very sad.
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Very deep and sad.
I love your take on the prompt.
I can tell you gave this one a lot
of thought. Well done and good luck
to you here!
Jeremy0826
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