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[[ Telephone Wires&&Lullabies]]

Baby sing me your lies through
  the telephone lines

                  make me wish away
my troubles on falling stars
and endless lullabies

                              we used to stay up all night
and
    whisper ((sweet)) nothings
across various connections in a
    complicated system

                          youheldmyheartinyourhands

i.loved.you.till.the.end


                              then you cut
the wire



                                  [[&&ill never forgive you]]

Author notes

my inspiration is the picture up above.


hope you like it ♥

A contest entry

do you love it??

    : , Your review:

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Comments

1 - 31 of 31

  • apples fell
    June 7, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    I love your picture poesy. It's so life like and you feel like you can reach into the monitor and touch the words. I can't write like this. I just can't. I am far too harsh on my own work and the spacings and other frills would positively drive me batty. But you. You do the frills well. I read this sort of like lyrics. Cool poem thingy minx.

    ;


  • vampira1665 silver member
    March 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    No pic but I liked the story behind the words. No pic needed. Nicely done!

    Hugs,
    Vampi


    • Crash Into Me
      April 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      aww... my gold membership expired while i was gone.
      ill just get a new one so you can see the picture.
      :]

      im glad you liked it..even without the picture.


  • GlowstickOfLove
    February 27, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    This is uberly coolies.

    end of story. :]


  • Gender Queer akaFL
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was interesting. i liked it. Nice layout. Kinda reminds me of E.E. Cummings. If you havent read his work you should.


  • im only half empty
    January 17, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Once again, I love it. lol You have a unique style. Keep up the writting.


  • Sf
    December 4, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    That was really good... you've totally inspired me to write something now...


  • PaiigeBARBIE
    December 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is absolutely amazing!
    i dont know what to say other than w0w.
    im truly envious&iloveyou.
    this is soo awesome.
    ♥


  • xNeonVertigoLipsx
    December 2, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This was very nice. I love your style....best of luck!


  • adsaige
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hm...I love the ending...I'll never forgive you. It's perfect and so awe inspiring, leaving me saddened and yet...purified of the hurt in my chest...usually I c&p the best part, but...the whole thing is damned good. Good luck in the contest!♥


  • noir eyes
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    oh jeez babe.
    i was going to copy & paste my fave part, but i realized this whole poem is definatley my favorite 'part' =]

    amazingly written, i love the emotion & the word usage.
    bookmarked for sure =]
    ♥


  • Dead Star--x
    November 30, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love that picture and your poem really went well with it
    then you cut
    the wire

    i like that line-all of a sudden dead noise from the other end and you are left to pick up the shattered pieces of yourself


  • Menace
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Haha that ending is really abrupt. I really like the style of this one though. You were on a roll and then it was like fuck it. I hate you. haha

    • Crash Into Me
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      hehehe
      don't hate me..

      ♥ ♥


      • Menace
        December 9, 2007
        Edit | Reply

        No, no, no....

        I wasn't saying I hate you. I was saying your poem ended like that. Kinda "thanks for the memories...now go."
        It was necessary I think though.


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    aww this one is amazing. I love the way you changed the fonts when you changed messages in the write. This was sad and Karl was the same with me. He was so sweet on the phone, romantic beautiful in many ways... then he severed everything and yeah, I wont be able to forgive him either. Nicely written, keep it up sweetie ♥


  • Vashman
    November 29, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like the last bit, it's fab. i loved you til the end, then you cut the wire.

    funny how soemimtes phone call can be like, imaginary, like a completely different world... then when the phone call finishes everything else comes rushing back.

    god knows I've said things on late night phone calls that I didn't mean (that sounds dirty but i odn't mean it like that)

    it's fab piece...


  • Ignis Corpus
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This was absolutly amazing. I loved how you layed the poem out. Though I don't think this poem was quite 25 lines. Oh well. It is still a good poem. I'm glad you put the picture up there also. I just wanted to wish you a good luck.


    • Crash Into Me
      November 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you.
      was it supossed to be 25 lines..i might've missed that.
      ummm i would add more but i think it would mess up the poem..

      ♥ ♥


  • Borntowriteforever
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    This is really good, i really like it. Its a great poem that you have gathered from the picture, good job!


  • Mildew in PinK tile
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    damn.
    you sang my pain hunnie. it is like if you sang to me..
    its just heart wrenching.

    especially when you said ill never forgive you.
    because. psh they are not worth our forgiveness

    ♥


    • Crash Into Me
      November 28, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      i would sing to you anyday sweet heart.
      ;]
      hehe
      yeah they don't,, i can't understand why guys don't realize we are the best damn thing for them until they lose us..
      then its all like ""but baby i still love you.."
      blegh.
      they suck.
      love you sweety
      ♥ ♥

1 - 31 of 31