A piece of her story to be heard...

She was just another one of those girls
hanging on her boyfriend…
but no one really knew
his ‘love’ would have no end

she felt it was real love
with the bruises on each arm
no one could know---
it was really self inflicted harm

she let it happen over and over again
so it couldn’t be his fault
the pain she felt could never
be under the category of physical or sexual assault

he said that he loved her
and she believed it too
he just wanted more and more
giving in was all she had to do

he started getting madder
in front of everyone he’d hold her down
she was owned
and {only}in her silent tears did she begin to drown

those cold five words he used every time
but he was her boyfriend it couldn’t be a crime

“you know you want it”
his fingers up her skirt
“you know you want it”
fondling up her shirt

she knew that she deserved it
for the slut she really was
she let him slip whatever in her drinks
…what was a harmless buzz?

but when she woke up half naked
she sat up in bed full of fear;
her clothes were sprawled across the floor
surrounded by every empty bottle of beer

he’d carved in her thigh
his name and with love,
though she was somewhar lucky to find
he had used a glove

she told herself we just messed around
she was believing her own lies and secrets
and chose to never made a sound
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
he knew she’d been cutting for years
he’d squeeze her wounded arm
she’d cringe, he’d smile
it was still _her_ inflicted harm

months went on and a year or two passed by
things only would get worse
she woke up one day scabbed bruises on her head
how did she get this loves curse?

she wore binis to school
and long sleeves year ‘round
…teachers suspicion…
but no proof to be found

her history of self harm
covered up all his ‘love’
they now got in fights
more than a push and a shove

he’d be screaming some nights,
and others he wanted her alone,
if love was just pain
she wished she only had known
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
time has gone by
her mothers placed her in a new school
telling her to make CPS reports
her wrong choices only made  her look like a fool

at night she’d wake up
screaming in bed
the voices that ‘she didn’t deserve to live’
were screeching and echoing in her head

she’d been in and out of hospitals these past few years
there is pain behind her eyes, and held back painful tears

every day they tell her she was a victim of these crimes
but she knows she must’ve led him on most of those times

after long therapies and EMDR,
she looks on it now
through a clear view from afar

she knows what he did,
and that she always said no
she pulled away and screamed stop
but he just wouldn’t let go….

there are still so many things
and memories still locked inside
but she realizes now,
there’s no reason to hide

she didn’t want him in trouble
if only he could get help and move on
but she’s told he has to learn the hard way
until he realizes the part of him that must be gone
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

she’s holding on to something
a pain she’s always known
if there’s one reason to move forward
it’s that now she’s not alone


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~Madison~