When Misery’s stolen company
Is gathered and swallowed whole
-Its stomach reeking of what was lost,
Its memories taking their toll
I am the hunter in the woods
Forgotten Dreams built this ax
I swing and pierce the Misery wolf
And free you from Its stomach’s grasp
When Life feeds on all you cradle
Its hunger, Its thirst, unbridled until
It’s devoured and drunk all you’ve Never offered
And leaves you with voids you cannot fill
I am that last drop in a bottle
That never comes out and can’t be drunk
No matter how its tipped and shaken
It’s never fully empty- never fully done
When Fear creeps into your garden
And eats and spoils your ripening dreams
Leaving not one fruit, but corpses plenty
rotted, and careless in Its greed
I am that breeze on a deceased day.
When fruit is devoured and its fickle taste fades
I am the peels and I am the seeds
and it is I that will make a tree in its wake
When Reality draws the line you’ve crossed
And rudely reels you back to bleakness
Its thick walls imprisoning your soul
-trapped and shackled with your weakness
I am the light that can’t be shut out
Uninvited, I seep through cracks
I smile upon dirty windowpanes
And guide you from your decaying black
I am the phoenix rising from ashes
I am the hunter, the drop, the seed
I am the hope and faith in your void
I am the breeze and all the little things
I am Light and I won’t be destroyed
Author notes
this poem is written in the perspective of hope.
-that small ray of light that peers out, that bit of goodness buried deep, that flicker of hope, and in the case of light, it cannot be destroyed.
Even through all our hardships in this world, and life and society's high expectations and rigid limits- sometimes the smallest thing can give you peace. When all seems lost, bits of beauty can still be found -it's the phoneix rising from ashes and both the fact and the concept that on the bleakest of days, in the bleakest of places, the sun will still rise.
A contest entry
- LIGHT'S GLANCE...SEEKING FINAL GRACE 13/29/24 NO PW by Blue Rew.
1010 points, ended November 28, 2007, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me an uplifting poem! by TwiztidMaggot.
600 points, ended December 11, 2007, 16 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Our world. by volcaniclastic.
600 points, ended January 10, 2008, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tomorrow, The Sun Will Rise by Cyclical.
450 points, ended January 15, 2008, 23 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Encouragement For Hope Angel by my.stars.dont.shine.
1200 points, ended May 31, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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this is great and shows lots of wisdom. thanks for entering and good luck.
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Very well written. Thank you so much for sharing and entering the contest. Good luck.
♥
whisper
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I loved your message in this poem, and how you speak of giving hope to others, which is a truly noble cause!
Thanks so much for entering! -
This is really amazing. I loved this as a whole but my favorite lines would have to be these:
"When Fear creeps into your garden
And eats and spoils your ripening dreams
Leaving not one fruit, but corpses plenty
rotted, and careless in Its greed
I am that breeze on a deceased day.
When fruit is devoured and its fickle taste fades
I am the peels and I am the seeds
and it is I that will make a tree in its wake"
These two stanzas are breathtaking. Good luck, I think you should win.
Chelsea
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Absolutely wonderful - quite a nice addition to my contest, and very accurately depicting the prompt.
Good luck in my contest! -
Thought Provoking!!!
Fantastic!!! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece! The slow contrast from utter oblivion to finding a sense of hope that, metaphorically portrayed as light, allowed the reader to find that light within themself. Thank You for entering and Best of Luck in this event!!!
Matt
Your Score:
Title:8
Theme:9.8
Depth:10
Flow:9.7
Feelings:10
Grammar:8
Presentaion:9.5
Uncommonness:8.8
Sit & Ponder Affect:10
Ability to Follow Rules:10
TOTAL:93.8
Great Job!!!
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"I am the phoenix rising from ashes
I am the hunter, the drop, the seed
I am the hope and faith in your void
I am the breeze and all the little things
I am Light and I won’t be destroyed"
best part of teh whole poem. great job on this and best of luck in this contest!
~rocklover91 -
I really like the personification you put in this. The flow of your words made the whole thing just come to life! I love that! Thank you very much for your entry! keep up your amazing work! and best of luck in the open contests! and Congrats on your honorable mention!!!
Crimson -
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Thank you so much- for the luck, the congrats, and the kind words:] Your comment is much appreciated :]]
~Cordelia
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This is a beautifully moving piece. I really like it
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Wow! this is just really powerful! I especially love that ending stanza. Saying that you wont disappear, that you'll be strong. Good job!
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powerful
i really enjoyed the stanza third from the bottom the most. excellent imagery and emotion. very well written -
ahh it won something
!!!!! yeyyy we lit a flame!
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Good Poem. Keep it up.
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Transcend All
Each time I read this I felt something different, I find that intriguing. A great painting, even words have a way of keeping us amused time after time, always showing us something new with each glance. I started with a sense of sadness, a darkness and many disappointments, but then all seemed to be clear a light of hope appeared. I saw a sad realization that all has not turned out as we expect peppered with possibilities. Very layered indeed!
Thank you for your showing!
Namaste'
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Thank you so much! "... but then all seemed to be clear a light of hope appeared" -you're words so perfectly describes what I was trying to convey.
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Excellent in a composed symphony of hope and imagery. Speaks well of that inner strength we may draw upon when shadows refuse to dispell...
Wonderful take and exceptional talent displayed. Blue -
brilliant
I REALLY love the point of view you took and I'm a big fan of personification of abstract concepts. I'm iffy on rhyming, but you pulled off the structure pretty well.
'when Life feeds on all you cradle'
'when Reality draws the line you crossed'
'not one fruit, but corpses plenty'
'uninvited, I seep through cracks'
"When Misery’s stolen company
Is gathered and swallowed whole
-Its stomach reeking of what was lost,
Its memories taking their toll
I am that breeze on a deceased day.
When fruit is devoured and its fickle taste fades
I am the peels and I am the seeds
and it is I that will make a tree in its wake"
(I'm basically quoting you your entire poem, if you haven't noticed)=)
WONDERFUL job, I applaud you.
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thanks:]] I'm a fan of personification of concepts too, and I'm still playing around with rhyming - most people don't seem to like it anymore in poetry, but I'm not quite ready to give it up completely! thanks again for commenting!
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