The night you left
I fell apart
you said goodbye
and broke my heart.
Lost, without reason
with no reason to go on
I can't help but feel
so weak now that you're gone.
My dreams no longer matter
as teardrops fill my eyes
I see things so clearly now
your love was just a disguise.
Author notes
PureRomance
In a list
A contest entry
- *Invite Only for a FEW of my Favs* by TwilightDazzles.
525 points, ended November 28, 2007, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
please do not critique it, I like nice comments not bad.
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Great and very sad piece...It was very touching and I could feel the myriad of emotions eminating from the page. But it's better to release our emotional sides, put the words on paper.
I like to cry with you and giggle with pain...- i want to give you a big hug and take the pain away. I just want you to know that you are loved…
I wish you love, peace, light and pleasure!
GRACE
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Im commenting a lot .
Good poem. -
I really like this poem.So sad.You speak very well And are a very great poet.You touch so many hearts and so many people can relate to what you put onto paper because so many people feel the exact same way.You did a great job yet again my dear friend.Well done.
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So bitter sweet can be love....xx
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Loved this piece! You show so much great emotions throughout your poetry.
The rhyme is awesome...you do that so well! Amazing!!!
Such a beautiful piece
Thank you for sharing!!
Leslie -
this was well done.
the piece was a little sad but the BG is lovely my favorite colors too.
greatjob on this in its entirity
Thanks for sharing it with me
tory
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This is a great piece! Sometimes we put a lot of time and effort into a relationship only to find out that the person we thought loved us really doesn't. Great job edxpressing these feelings. Beat of luck in the contest.
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Another great write ....A sad one at that... But the love that you give makes you stronger within...
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tis a sad ale you have woven my friend, for life can be cold and filled with sorrow over lost love. hope she returns.
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Ah yes! It is a crushing blow when love walks away! Been there and felt it as well.........this piece captures it perfectly! Good job with this one! The last verse especially moving!
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wow. this is an excellent poem. one of my favs so far! beautiful background too.
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My dreams no longer matter
as teardrops fill my eyes
I see things so clearly now
your love was just a disguise.
The heart breaks at the ending, your stanzas carry us through the descent of ove, no more. A moving poem, my dear son-I wish you lots of luck in the contest, O Talented One.
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*sigh*
It is always heartbreaking when a man or woman just ups & leaves for no reason. Very fine work here.
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Awe, that's sad, but really good.
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forgot your clapies sorry
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Nice take on your prompt it is a lovely piece thank you for sharing this with me goodluck in the contest.Much love
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Un-Love Hurts
Joel, You play those heartstrings with perfect pitch!
I have a bit of a problem though with line # 8.
First WEEK should probably be WEAK. But then that phrase, "so week within our song" loses me somewhere-I don't get the sense of it. Please Friend I mean not to be critical in a bad way--to me What you are saying is:
"so weak, now that you're gone."
Just a thought, I love your poetry, but even more--Your Heart!
David
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wow bro this backgrounds really good i love it and i love you huggggggs you tight
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That's a terrible feeling to have!
Good luck to you in this contest
and thanks for sharing it!
Jeremy0826 -
Aww this is so sad. I also pictured her sitting there listening to "their" song lol isnt that weird? You have done well with this as I knew you would Thanks for entering and best wishes dear
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http://roseonthegrey.deviantart.com/art/Lover-Alone-Without-Love-48777038
I hope this sparks the love muse
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