Wisps of smoke dance above the pyre
an old ritual performed for his crossing
His tiny frame held engulfed by flames
As we stand there looking on
The overcast delves us unto darkness
With the firelight licking at our faces
This sea-side village lay in thickened silence
As his ashes are carried off by the wind
Author notes
Prompt is picture above
10 lines or less
danceswsquirrels
In a list
A contest entry
- Picture Insipired, 10 Lines or Less/ 16 entries by mysticstorm.
475 points, ended November 27, 2007, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best prewrites- ROUNDS!!! by seasonsoflove.
525 points, ended December 18, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
On the tip of your tongue, and in front of your eyes... What is it?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Ah..... So you got the Gold on this!!! Congrats!! Much deserved again!!!!!
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wow... great job on this. i love the relation from the picture to the poem... best of luck in this contest!
~rocklover91 -
Now, isn't this gorgeous! Many congrats on the gold shiny!!
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Wow. If this isn't true "showing" vs. "telling", I don't know what is. This is an amazing take on the prompt, and well worth the gold. Congrats!
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WOW! I am amazed, thrilled and saddened by your beautiful words...you went deep into the picture as no one else did and it shows.
You did justice to this picture and than some.
I am speechless.
Thank you for entering! -
this poem goes with the pictue perfectly... wow ... you are really making a picture come to life... although it was a little sad but i think that it was worth it...
in my opinion... this was a really superb write
Denika
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What an incredible take on the prompt!!! What an amazing imagination to come up with that... Very different and I like that!!! Good luck in the contest!!
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Wow... that's a great take on the prompt. Very atmospheric! "an old ritual performed for his crossing"... very nice indeed
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