Do not frown my dear friend,
Fret not this wound that won't mend,
I am gone now this is sure,
Please do not try there is no cure,
No matter where you go you will never find,
A healer to heal me however great the mind,
This wound will be my death,
I can already feel the shortage in breath,
But do not fret for me,
My body is dying my spirit is free,
Go on now my son,
I bid thee farewell for now my life is done.
Author notes
Just wanted to write a poem this is how it turned out
A contest entry
- Anything Goes by Beating.
450 points, ended December 14, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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This piece is very well written, and definitely made me think a lot. You don't give out a lot of information, which I really like it. It makes it open to a new world. Good job!
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Awesome Poem
This was Fantastic.. if I could applaud more then once I would do it again. I think it is really good. Hey check out my site, I have a new poem.
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Well ...
this is a very heavy subject for somebody who's only 15, and I hope it's only a flight of fancy and not something serious. You might want to check this line:
Fret not this wound that won't mend,
I don't think fret works that way. I'd say "fret not (for) this wound that won't mend
Don't worry about the meter. The meter is all over the map in this anyway, so it won't matter in that line either. Otherwise, this isn't bad, although again, I hope it's not anything to do with actuality.
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Wow I loved this poem. And yet again another brilliant poet. I liked this so much. The flow is terrific. and as someone else already has mentioned you captured the true inner feelings that come with defath so well. I think this is one of my favorites by you. Great job. Always keep on writing.
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Wow - emotional explains this piece - nice job. You caputured true inner feelings that accompany death.
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