The room is quiet
alone
scared
but ready
eager
naive
first breath sears the lungs
drains my air
quiet
alone
Words slip through
my outstretched fingers
laughter
laughter
no words
feelings
weights
slow motion
brain dead
tired
alone
life picks up,
it was once.
one night. one try.
one invincible girl.
Again night closes
smoke fills my chest
my eyes,
The baby is screaming
screaming.
she is alone
alone
mommy invincible
mommy gone
she is alone
crying crying
the radio sings for her
hush little baby
mommy will come, day will break
mommy will come...
sadness
regret
NO MORE!!....
more
The room is all quiet
Boyfriend hugs and kisses
gentle touching
soft needing
I breathe in again
smoke smoke
to remember I am not
a good mom
not a good person
She is alone
asleep or awake
crying and hungry
needing me...
alone.
I breathe death in.
Author notes
read, judge... I am not sure
A contest entry
- ///Prompt/// by Hello...No.One.Home.
525 points, ended November 27, 2007, 6 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
This has quite the chilling feel to it, title aside. The short lines slow down the pace and give it an eerie quality like watching the story through, as Queen so aptly put it, "a belladonnic haze". Definitely trophy-worthy!
-
Poetic of course, slightly off is really the touch that I noticed, very abstract
-
I really liked this and with the lines being so short it made you think about what you were reading which in turn gave great imaginary.
well done on the silver and keep writing with great ideas.
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