On the darkest night
Our judgment day
We wait in line for our retribution.
The teeming masses
Line up at the gates
Marching glassy-eyed toward execution.
One mind opened
And then another
Resulting in a riotous pulse.
The rebellious mob
Ignoring the gates
Rips down the walls to gain entry.
On the darkest night
Our judgment day
Another God has been burned to ashes.
Author notes
My AP name is Howlinginpain. If humans truly go to a "heaven" when they die I think this is what it would be like.
A contest entry
- bring what chaotic poem you posses by choaticrose.
584 points, ended December 11, 2007, 10 entries
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• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What is your vision of heaven?
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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this is a good vision on death,
original i like it,
its in your own styl and grace,
good luck in the contest,
love vamp xxxx -
What a captivating piece!
Great write!
~Pastel
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Personally, I'm not the one who thinks there is heaven and hell and stuff like that. I just happily believe my 'energy' will sour around the world and haunt people
LOL 
anyway, this is quite a through-provoking poem you have written here, and I like the fact you stepped completely out of the box concerning the subject matter
Thanks for this entry as well!
Leander -
Very clear imagery, very concise, you paint a scene with controlled brush strokes. I like it. Good luck in my contest.
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I believe you delved deep into a very creative mind , and came up with a scene and visuals that I was able to imagine very vividly myself , and I must say that I can not disagree with it. We cause havoc to gain entry into a store that features a sale....so I can imagine [if there really is a heaven]. Great job,and best of luck in this contest,
reenie
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This was a very deep write. I love to hear about what other humans believe will happen to us after our physical death other than what all world religions have thorned into our minds. This was very thought-provoking at the same time, frightening. I loved the imagery and word usage throughout this write and good luck to you in the contest.
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You obviously have a creative mind. My ideas of heaven are much different from this but I admire your imagination. Good luck in the contest.
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Nice Write!
Challenges your senses,
Salute!
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Thrilling and intoxicating. "Marching glassy-eyed" gives me a concrete image then mind after mind opens. Chaos! Love the last line. This is a unique concept and an eye opening read.
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Superb/challenging/intriguing
Wow, this one left me with chills. Your use of imagery was most excellent. My poetry may not express this type of philosophy, yet I can appreciate the feelings behind this write. Very well written indeed.
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