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stones cast at water

 
 
 
 
 
Deep fingers cup pools of missing
flesh and silence- cradle the spill
between bottomless hands.
 
The quiet ear swallows no sound,
so will drown in neither
an absence of noise or meaning.
 

 


Light less an eye colours nothing.
 

 

 

The vacant moment grants both rest and fury,
but each is lost
in this mangrove of bone and water.
 
He watches from shadowed shore-
it is always behind her
so she cannot see what he will not hear.
 

 

 

There is no warning of impact as skimmed stone

shatters this empty lake.
 
She is left to wait with her fear,
that his ripples will find her,

 

again.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think (Critical Honesty Appreciated)

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • ariosto gold member
    December 25, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is sublime...it is direct and pithy but still poetic...done with grace and elegance

    I like it a lot!


  • Scion
    December 1, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh, this gave me chills. Great imagery and what a creative take on the prompt. good luck with the contest and beautiful job! Cheers


  • Cvillelisa
    November 28, 2007

    Edit | Reply


    Like your imagery here and the way you set up the "feeling" of the unknown. In reading these so far, it is fascinating to see where individual minds go based on the same prompt.

    Enjoyed the read and good luck to you in the contest.

    Lisa




  • Annalise
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I read this earlier and loved it... so, now that I have time, I came back to tell you that I love it.

    Yep.


  • Cat gold member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    mangrove of bone and water..

    man i wish i had thought of mangrove.. that is genius..

    excellent poem

    m


  • Laura-Critchley
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    This poem is amazing, but, slightly chilling. It gave me goosebumps.


  • Rowan gold member
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I looked at this picture and came up blank~ you took the picture, personalized it and made it mean more than most could ever hope too..
    excellent.


  • Cerulean gold member
    November 27, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Very deep & powerful. Thanks for sharing & good luck in the contest.


  • Grunts Girl
    November 27, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    well damn...
    mangrove of bone and water...niiiice line

    the whole take on this prompt that you did was definately one that creeped me out at the end..
    it was good
    so very good!

1 - 9 of 9