If you shop on ebay, you may find a treat
A present for a lady, who looks at you so sweet
Don't ask where it came from, or if the tax was paid
But remember to leave feedback, this way a bargain's made
Jewellery for a lady, gadgets for a guy
So just sign in to Paypal
While a lot of tat you buy
Clearing out the attic you may chance to find
Little boxes tied with string, long put out of mind
Don't you tell your Ma in law or show them to your wife
Find the online auction site, and help to fund your life!
If you see a stack of toys, lying on a shelf
If no kids are using them, just take them for yourself
If you've got a hairdryer, but haven't got much hair
Then join an online site, and raise a little spare
If the Inland revenue send you round a note
You be careful what you say, and URLs you quote
If they mention rebate if you just fill out this form
Don't you tell them what you've sold, or mention it was warm!
Loads of rubbish round the house, sell the ruddy lot
Sell everything that you can find, everything you've got
As well as selling you can buy, so you've more things to sell
Everybody everywhere will soon be doing well
If you do as I advise, likely you will win
An auction for a wedding dress, for someone much too thin
And a copper fondue set, with a burner made of brass
A bargain from an Ebayer, who hasn't got much class
Jewellery for a lady, gadgets for a guy
So just sign in to Paypal
While a lot of tat you buy
Clearing out the attic you may chance to find
Little boxes tied with string, long put out of mind
Don't you tell your Ma in law or show them to your wife
Find the online auction site, and help to fund your life!
Author notes
I didn't intend to start off writing a parody, but I was getting myself into a Kipling frame of mind.
I may withdraw this an enter a Kipling "style" one later.
A contest entry
- Can You Write like Service, Kipling or Noyes by ecrivain01.
1900 points, ended December 22, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please comment below. Spelling or rhyming or scanning corrections welcome.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Delightful -- no, educational
I know about as much about
e-bay as I do cricket
In this state I have no clout
My friends turn off my spigot
But with THIS and poems like this
I'm getting educated
On e-bay now I will insist
all sales be tax evaded -
no you didnt.
well done heremy dear
best wishes to you in the contest
always
Tory
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I've seen poems of yours ...
that I liked better, but this isn't bad. It's just not my kind of writing. Larry seems to like it, so that's a point in your favor, but I'd rather see the Kipling one. Thanks for entering in any case.
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I agree with you!
Kipling's has an added charm with the air of a father talking to a pretty daughter off out to play in the woods. Also mine isn't quite clear enough about the nature of the ebay addiction, is he a buyer or seller or both, I have two others part written, When in the style of If and a version of "The way through the woods" When I finish them i may substitute those as my entry. The excuse to read and attempt to re-write Kipling is great fun and I think you for it. -
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;)
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I think IRS is a Yank thing.
In Canada we have Revenue Canada. -
I like it!
Don't know what you mean by 'tat' as around here it means tattoo. I would have liked it better if it were left aligned and some of the lines weren't broken in half. Still, not as bad as the dorks who arrange letters into the shapes of tea cups or Christmas trees and think they've done something clever. Cheers -
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Tat means rubbish, old word coming out of tatters. It started off left aligned but very unusually I thought it looked batter this way.
I'll tidy it up when I get home from work, this was a lunchtime mis-spent :-)
I love Kipling, I may do a "way through the woods" later... -
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Don't bother to change it.
Just my opinion.
Your 'tat' must be just a local thing, or maybe just a British thing.... I dunno. Thanks. -
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Is a dictionary word but if not common across the pond I'll add a note, thanks. Also better comment about Inland Revenue I guess that may not be universally understood, you would usually call it IRS I think which stands for the same thing I suppose. My excuse is Kipling was from Sussex
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Kipling or not,it's very good, very 'of the moment' and raised a smile, if not cash to fund your life!
All the best in the contest...
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1 - 11 of 11
