I’m Yours Forever
I want to be there for you and be able to hold your hand
Through all of life’s pain
And then lead you outside to kiss you in the rain
As we take a walk barefoot in the sand.
Melting into my arm
With the wind blowing through your hair
I can't help myself but stop and stare
I fear no harm
My arm still around you
Never really feeling close enough to me
As I drop down to one knee
You realize what I'm about to do
I ask you to be mine
To marry me, forever and ever
To stay by side for whatever
When your lips say yes I get a chill up my spine
And a tear rolls down my cheek
As I stand to give you a kiss
I feel as though this is a perfect bliss
You let out the cutest shriek
Now it’s our wedding day
The wedding ring glitters in the light
As we prepare for an amazing night
You’re just so beautiful; I have nothing more to say
Author notes
First Time using A,B,B,A style stanzas. Novice writer
A contest entry
- OPEN YOUR HEARTS by psychiatrists dream.
525 points, ended December 10, 2007, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - [GUYS ONLY] Impress Me by Sesheta.
630 points, ended March 30, 2008, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Woo me with your gentle words. by The-Phoenix.
450 points, ended December 11, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How can the imagery be improved?
Comments
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Welcome To AllPoetry
The imagery is awesome! The only suggestion that I have is, for it to flow a little better, take out some of the extra words. That helps the meter and rhythm. Sometimes less is better! Great poem, beautiful emotions. Keep on writing.
AP is pleased to have you here and we all hope that you enjoy the site. If you have any questions, just ask! The Greeter team is here to assist you.
JeannieD
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aww filled with love this poem, well written. thanks for entering and good luck!
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This is exquisitely romantic
Beautiful and written
so well!!!
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thank you so much
first time submitting to site!
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