I see you in the doorway,
I gave you my heart right away.
I drop to my knees as you're no longer there,
I try to breath but there is no air.
My heart starts to go slower until its silent,
Thoughts that were once so sweet turn violent.
I hate you for leaving me but I know i must survive,
My heart starts to patter again for I am alive.
My eyes start to well with tears for now I am sorry,
I remember the look in your eyes looked so starry.
I look up to a shadowy figure I make out the face,
The eyes, the lips the jaw line, its your face I trace.
I try to touch your arm but I fall through you,
I now know that you never meant to leave you just died on cue.
A contest entry
- You Favourite Song by Beating.
300 points, ended November 27, 2007, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What Hurts The Most by Ignis Corpus.
750 points, ended April 20, 2008, 58 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Okay, I just saw your poem on your page. That was me that commented on it. Wrong contest though! The one that you entered that poem in is called "Your Favorite Song."
-
Wow, interesting piece you have
written here! Thanks a lot for
sharing it and good luck to you
with it in this contest!
Jeremy0826 -
"I drop to my knees as your no longer there,"
Here it should be "you're" instead of "your"
"My heart starts to patter agian for I am alive."
I think you mean again. Just a typing error.
"I try to touch your arm but I fall though you,"
Here it should be "through" instead of "though"
What a sad piece. I know some of the feelings that you portrayed, and I like that it is so real. Good job on that!
Adding your comment:
