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Ever

Have you ever heard the sunlight
    crash upon the shore?
Or ever watched the thunder
    knock upon your door?

Have you ever smelt the raindrops
    break against the rock?
Or ever walked atop the wind
    beside the soaring Hawk?

Have you ever heard a truthful man
    talk without a lie?
Or ever known a peaceful man
    who ever gets the prize?



        Neither have I.

Author notes

L o s t M e m o r y

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 22 of 22

  • libel -
    July 5
    Edit | Reply

    no, sorry


  • MahoganyFlow
    March 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This was a beautiful poem with such an subtle imagery.
    "Have you ever heard a truthful man
    talk without a lie?" I adored this line.
    Commenting for the group. Keep writing!


  • The Poetic Bandits gold member
    February 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    9pts...

    Thank you for this wonderful contribution to The Poetic Bandits reading list, and congratulations on the silver trophy

    ~Lilac


  • ronnica
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful gush of thought, just enough to sink in,
    clear especiall lines five and six. nice posting,


  • wakingdevil
    February 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Very well deserving of the silver...short, yet sending across a powerful message.Well done, Good luck


  • Shamanicmusings
    February 21, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is very good and well deserving of the silver buttons.
    The style is very crisp.


  • grannyeri gold member
    February 20, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This has very good rhythm, rhyme and flow in the lines; easy to read and understand, can see why you took silver in this contest. Way to go.

  • The Pole Star
    February 20, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Beautiful

    The way you have used the expressions of nature to relate to a peaceful and a truthful person is really novel. I am impressed and influenced and it leaves me thinking.
    Surely deserving a silver if not gold, congratulations...

    Thanks for sharing and keep penning

    The Pole Star.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    February 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderfully written poem it is really deserving of the silver... I liked that you kept it short and concise, you didn't need to use superfluous words and thesaurus language to make it powerful and meaningful for the reader... the ending was masterfully done

    Keep writing

    Polly


  • warrior-eagle
    February 19, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Wow.
    I loved this.
    Wow.
    I liked the way you ended it,
    you've wow
    amaze me with this.
    Great work
    and congrats on the Bronze.

    ..Simply Me♥


  • Ephiphany
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    First Congrats on the Trophy

    loved this...very well deserving.
    E♥


  • Lady Altheia
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem and it is different. You ask some good questions and I can say I never experienced any of those things either. Congrats on the silver.


  • The Hermit
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting write nice rhyme and good twist at the end.


  • Twinstar
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    An intersting write, with wonderful rhyme and rhythm and makes the reader think. Great job on this!

    Love & Light
    Debbera


  • animated lies
    February 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. The wording is almost contradictory, though, but it does invoke thought. I'm not sure of the word I'm looking for, but its unique in the aspect that sunlight doesn't crash, etc. I almost feel as though the last line doesn't do the poem justice. I know its there for emphasis, but I think that if you let the reader's mind wander to farther places instead of saying "I've never heard of this either" then it might be more deep. Just my opinion. Overall an interesting piece. :]


  • albymyheart gold member
    February 18, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I've already commented on this. Congratulations on the trophy.

  • albymyheart gold member
    February 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like your rhythm and rhyme, it flowed very well. You have used off beat metaphors which is intriguing, and I ponder your meaning of some of them.
    alby


  • xxRainbowDawnxx
    January 14, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I really enjoyed this write. I loved the rhyme and rythmn of the piece. I was confused by the last stanza 'have you ever heard a truthful man talk without a lie' isn't that what a truthful man does? I really found this one entertaining and most importantly, thought provoking.


    • Lost Memory
      January 14, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      i didnt expect many to understand the last stanza. it was meant to make you think. my meaning was to say than even a truthful person will make mistakes and lie, and often it becomes human nature throughout life to better only one's self (im not saying thats true for everyone just many people i've met)

      and lastly thank you.

      ~Nick


  • ley527
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful imagery


  • realist07
    December 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like this thoughtful very nice imargy flow and diffrent style again nice work this is what poetry is all about you have been with me from the beginning and i have alway liked your work nice work


    • Lost Memory
      December 8, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thank you, its just another poem that just started to come out... i didnt really think about it... just wrote

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