goodbye to you
my almost lover
you broke my heart
with pieces of me
shards of me
falling like leaves and rain
you make me gellid
frozen ice am I
making me cry
I want to die
sweet bitterness love
it's intoxicating me
haunted by your love
I want to spread my wings
I'll fly far away without you
where a new love will bring a cinnamon morning
where your shadows no longer linger
goodbye to you
my almost lover
goodbye
Author notes
prompt:
song "Almost Lover" by A Fine Frenzy
and
word bank:
haunted
wings
shadows
lucky
cinnamon
morning
gellid
intoxicating
A contest entry
- Almost Lover - Todays Group Contest by Todays Poem Box.
600 points, ended November 28, 2007, 12 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter all your poems. by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended February 20, 281 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite conest by serenity silvermoon.
1500 points, ended June 12, 429 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Ami.
550 points, ended July 12, 124 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrite contest 1st come 1st serve by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended November 14, 375 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites. by Antebellum.
400 points, ended November 14, 200 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - big bang prewrite contest round 1 - 3 by serenity silvermoon.
2100 points, ends December 12, 542 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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No idea of the band or song, but this writting was amazing.
......
i want to die
sweet bitterness love
it's intoxicating me
haunted by your love
.....
this part is my favorite. the strongest part I believe. thanks for entering.
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I like the phrase "cinnamon morning" creative and very full of image. I also love the metaphors and flow. You stun me again with your magic quill. Great write friend. ~gypsy~
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Wow. You did a fantastic job with the song/prompt. Definitely did it justice!
i loved this. Congratulations on your trophy, and best of luck in the contests!
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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thanks so much my dear. i'm glad you loved my piece and i'm grateful that you felt i did the song/prompt justice.
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This reminds me so much of the song Almost Lover, in many senses. It's so sad when someone is pretty much yours and yet, not anywhere near yours at all.
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you commented twice here with different statements that are sweet and helpful as always. and yes, the song was basically the prompt for the poem and there was also a word bank from the contest. glad you enjoyed the piece again.
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I know the song this was inspired by and you did great with it
Thank you so much for entering my contest and
Good luck!
-♥Amy♥ -
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thanks for the comment, sis. i always know that you know my writings so well.
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This is so true for me as well. I'm sorry you know how it feels to have your heart torn into lots of little pieces. I think many people can relate, I know I can.
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thanks for your sweet words as always. I know that many go through this kind of pain which is one of the reasons why I wrote it. It was also therapudic for me to write it and let out all my pain and frustration. thanks again for reading and for being there with kind words.
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wow well deserved bronze. beautiful from beginning to end.
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thanks for the comment! glad you enjoyed the beauty of this piece!
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Oopsie, been here, done this, still good ..lol
Evan -
Congratulations on the bronze trophy you got for this. It is very sad and emotion filled and worthy of the honor it received. You captured the song and put your words to it creating vivid images. Thank you for sharing with me and keep writing poet. I loved this one. seamaiden ♥
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i do love your comments...lol...thanks for the congrats and for your kind words...i'm glad you appreciated this piece...it means a lot to me...i'm always glad to share my works with my fellow artists.
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Excellent write. Keep up the good work!
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thanks for the comment!
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Wow. You did an excellent job using two of the prompts. The way you incorporated the word bank selections into this was done well.
Thanks for entering the contest and best of luck.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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thanks for the comment! I enjoyed writing this poem and it helped me in a way.
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very nicely done here. A very soft, sad, heartfelt write and nice use of the word bank. thanks for dsharing this with us, and good luck in the contest,
Evan
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thank you for looking at one of my other poems. i hope you get to read the others
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