The wind is blowing,
the trees are cracking,
leaves swirl around me.
The rain is pelting,
the sky is booming,
lightning is flashing,
all these elements are lashing at me.
I scream for them to stop,
I beg them.
But they won't.
They are mocking me,
punishing me.
I've got no one.
I don't have a place to run and hide.
I start running,
pelting, faster and faster to some unknown destination.
I run faster still but they follow me,
"Leave me alone," I cry out.
The thunder laughs at me from above,
and booms louder.
"Stop it, stop it!" I cry in pure desperation,
the wind blows harder,
leaves slap my face.
I keep running... running.
I slam into a brick wall and slide to the concrete.
The wind howls a cheer of truimph,
the thunder booms happily,
the lightning flashes a grin,
and the leaves slap harder.
I am cornered.
They lash at me harder,
my blood drips from my forehead.
I sob, I scream, I cry, I shout.
"Go away," I sob.
"Stop it stop it," I cry again.
Then suddenly it stops.
I feel my warm blood caking on my face,
"Help me," I cry feebly.
"Help yourself," the wind whispers in the distance,
"I can't," I scream back,
"I can't," I scream to no one,
"I can't," I say quietly.
Author notes
In your AP family I would like to be a sister. This is one of my best poems. My name is Ms.Misery (one word) but you can call me Jade. All my poems are under Ms.Misery. If you want to find out more about me go to my page. Thanks!
A contest entry
- VERY best of dark by psychiatrists dream.
600 points, ended December 10, 2007, 45 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Wanted: AP Family by GypsyEyes.
450 points, ended January 13, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Ages 13 and Under - Prewrite Heaven 2 by Amunet Wolfbane.
300 points, ended December 7, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Childrens Cries (Ages 11-15) by Nostalgia.
450 points, ended December 10, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Best of 2007 by B Chandler.
1000 points, ended December 30, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PREWRITES!!!!!! by Luminescence.
450 points, ended March 5, 2008, 69 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Help with grammatical errors?
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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thats a really sucky death.... it is... otherwise I like the beginning of the poem... a little suggestion though. you have a very inconsitant form.... its all over the place... try and get them with a little bit of the same number of word... it just gives a better apperance... the apperance is just a helpful as the word of the poem.
thank you for entering our contest, and good luck
~Lumin -
Thanks for the suggestions and I am very flattered by your comment. I like it the way it is. I gave each element a human action. The leaves have to slap. lol. Thank You.
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I enjoyed the intesity and the imagery, good job, though I'm not quite sure it fits this contest. But overall I really enjoyed your unique style, nice job.
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This is a lovely piece, I like the imagery in it. I think it would be stronger if you removed some of the unneccesary words (the for exmaple) and tighten it up, but overall I really enjoyed it and could easily see it all. Well done
Just a suggestion/exmaple of what I mean by tightening it up a bit, take it as you will
The elements are lashing me.
Wind blowing, trees crackling,
Leaves swirling around me
as the sky booms, rain pelting
beneath flashes of lightning
-OR-
The wind is blowing.
Trees cracking, leaving swirling around me
As the sky booms, pelting rain
Lightning is flashing.
The elements are lashing at me.
Just some thoughts
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thanks for entering
Lea -
Dommi Says
Wow! That was really good! You should have entered my other contest with this. Your flow is really smooth and I just loved it!
~Dommi -
Thank you.
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loved this poem, well done! thanks for entering and good luck!
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I loved it
You set the scene very well
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