I need my calm and special place
Where there's plants and lots of space.
I need that special somewhere,
That place where I just don't care.
I need that person to guide me through
To be there when I need it, too.
Encouraging me to open my eyes and see,
That person who lets my soul run free.
I can hear the bird's sweet calls,
As I decide just to fall.
I lay down on there, with my friend,
Hoping this lifetime would never end.
I think about going home,
I have a family of my own.
I think about the ones I miss,
I can't remember our last kiss.
I breathe in deep then let it go,
I have to leave soon, that I know.
I must abandon this special time,
A person's imagination-
It's a fragment of mine.
Author notes
I feel calm.
A contest entry
- If It Makes You Happy. by La Tua Cantante.
380 points, ended January 2, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
:D Do you like it?
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Really so good, I enjoyed the journey through the poem very much. I'm not surprised you feel calm after writing this!
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I Like it. I felt like it was emotional- but calm also. Contradicting in a nice way.
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to me the rhyme seemed forced.but i like what its about.you said you felt calm in your author notes and this peice made me feel calm,and thats great.so....good stuff
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Very good. I feel the calm that is bursting from the poem. This over all is a great pen.
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Wow. This was beautiful. I enjoyed reading it very much. It made me feel calm too!
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Well done and thank you for sharing a fragment of your imagination........glad you enjoy your calm time it's precious.
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Awesome
What a nice space you created in this poem. I travelled there with every word.
You have a very clever way of making a poem pint an enviroment that you can make yourself at home in. Great work. Great word usage. I can totally see why this is one of your favorites.
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I really liked this poem, it’s magnificently written and I can easily relate to it, I think everyone is looking for their special someone and special place. It’s a captivating title, which really made me want to click on it and read it before other entries. My favorite part is:
“I need that person to guide me through
To be there when I need it, too.
Ecouraging me to open my eyes and see,
That person who lets my soul run free.”
There’s one error in spelling in that part and that is “ecouraging” should be “encouraging,” but it’s a common mistake. (I’m just a jerk about spelling).
. Otherwise this was a extraordinary write that really expresses what people look for in life.
Thank you and good luck in my contest.
-Dana.
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I have to agree that you are getting better and better at writing. You really did a great job on this piece. I can see it and feel it all. I have a special place I got to as well. Excellent work here
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It seems to me that every time you write and put your thoughts down... the rhymes and rhythm get better with each one. You're really growing as a young poet, and I'm honored to have a chance to read some of your works. I think we all have a place we like to go in our minds sometimes, however briefly, just to "get away" from things going on. You captured this very well here.
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thank you! omg I didn't get the message that you commented so I didn't notice until just now, but thank you for the wonderful comment it really brightened my ugly mood
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