The mist enshrouds the beauty below
Beneath the glisten icy trees, of snow.
My mind so veiled of beauties sight
Has bowed to the frost, and wintry boughs...
Enticed by mystic beliefs as trite,
My trail had placed me here so bright
Thus a spirit encased me here, but pure!
I'd forgotten all of my earthly plights.
So enamored of the silent cure,
My mind wandered here, but obscure.
I walk the snowy trail toward the foggy lake
And find my muse talking, of allure...
While the downy white and silver flake,
Dreams of scenes, so beauty does partake.
This snowy hillside wood, quietly opaque
This snowy hillside wood, quietly opaque...
Author notes
Beauty of trees and lakes, and mountains...
Image from Crater lake National park, in Oregon.
I have tried to emulate Robert Frost with this.
Hope you like.
A contest entry
- Wednesdays at Winklings by Lyndon.
875 points, ended December 3, 2007, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Let me know How this makes you feel, what do you think?
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A breezy rhymed poem
that has its beauties and defects ~ I agree with things pointed out in the main. At Allpoetry I often see "allure" for a rhyme because the word comes up in a rhyming dictionary. Now, you may well have used it intentionally, but the problem remains.
Yes, your form emulated Frost's famous poem in a Snowy wood. However, he was weary weith life and his experience in the final lines rang true with many including JFK on his election campaign.
Thank you for entering. Do so again. Ron
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Beautiful and inspiring picture! Your first line is a perfect introduction!
There are places where it seems you have chosen a word not because it was the best one to describe your feelings or the scene, but to make a rhyme. I wonder if this piece would not have been more powerful and moving as a free-verse write, focusing on clearly portraying the scene and its effect on you?
Another lovely phrase "downy white and silver flake"! I think you have some lovely ideas to express.
Rhyme is fine, but take the extra time to look up words to make sure they will convey the meaning you intend to the reader
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A very nice poem, but next to the word 'so' you used the word 'here' a bit too often too I think. Maybe you can change that. Anna.
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The form is pleasant, and the imagery dreamlike. I was not that pleased with "so trite/so bright/so pure", but the stanza does communicate the effect of nature on normal concerns. Good luck in the contest.
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bravo
Yes, this is a neat and nifty a great poem for the illo! and, yes, somehow reminiscent of old Frost himself... bravo... bravo... bravo...
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I can hear his voice in this! It's a deeply moving piece that gets inside the silence of revelery and sings.
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