I must feel and touch and caress you, launching my senses to the sky
All that I ask, love, is your love, and sweet smile and touch foreby.
Your honeyed hold and zephyrs kiss, my whole body shaking,
And a veiled sheen on my love's face, and the fleet dawn breaking.
I crave your perfumed touch my dove, sweep me now like some tearing tide
With a wild call, a passioned call, that will not be denied.
And all I ask are my senses, whirled, reaching high and flying
And the full breach, sweet connexion, you and I both crying.
I must feel and touch and caress you, in our fragrant, loving life,
In the right way and the one way, singing nerves like a whetted knife,
And all I ask is a happy face, from a laughing fellow-rover
And quiet sleep and our sweet dreams when the loving's over.
Author notes
After John Masefield's "Sea Fever"
A contest entry
- Can You Write like Service, Kipling or Noyes by ecrivain01.
1900 points, ended December 22, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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This is really beautiful I enjoyed reading it. Looks like you got a lot of crap with it in the beginning. Looks fine to me now. Great Write
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Well, we all make mistakes, don't we? I read your "etc" to mean other or another poet, so that is what I have here but I am, obviously not writing like Service, Kipling (I should have Kippled) or Noyes but I am writing like that outstanding poet "Etc" Glad you have adjusted to "foreby" and "breach". Thanks for your comments.
Donald -
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The 'etc.' does mean
other poets who wrote with rhythm and rhyme like those mentioned. It also means 'action' 'adventure' as opposed to 'mushy' 'lovey'. At first I almost dismissed it(Another silly love psalm.) but I have read it a few times and it grows on one. It is well written.
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Never saw ...
foreby, ever. I guess I'll have to check that one out. Breech doesn't have an "a" in it.
Otherwise, not bad. Thanks for entering.
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I did adjust the typo LarryATilander detected earlier but the rest was, and remains, accurate. "Foreby" is used by Masefield himself. Breach has two spellings and two meanings. Dictionary info below for your perusal. Cheers.
Quick definitions (foreby)
(prep.) Near; hard by; along; past
(breach)
noun: a failure to perform some promised act or obligation
noun: an opening (especially a gap in a dike or fortification)
noun: a personal or social separation (as between opposing factions)
verb: make an opening or gap in
verb: act in disregard of laws and rules -
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Masefield ...
yes, I guess. I'm dubious though how that refers to the three poets mentioned in the title of the contest. Odd that Larry didn't ask since it was his idea for a contest in the first place.
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Yeah, not bad.
You could check the spelling.
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