from time to time we all need
a heart-makeover
when our thoughts and actions
begin to weigh heavy on the mind
foggy days , nights without blinking
guilt comes from judgemental words
flare- up's of I- told -you -so's
or I'd never-do-that's
puffed up hearts
emotional garbage spilling out on
loves'foundation
in the meanwhile...
self righteousness takes a toll
it's like acid
as it eats up the lining of our soul
nothing in the end except
bitterness and frosty-iced hearts
A new Heart Decor is what is needed
a beautiful heart must be adorned with
lovely ornaments
ornaments of peace, joy, tenderness
borders lined with kindness, compassion
With a fragrance of forgiveness
foundation solid
built on love
A contest entry
- Enter your best prewrite. by Anguas-Confusion.
525 points, ended June 27, 2008, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Very powerful writing here. So much truth within each stanza too. How many people does this refer to I wonder...my guess is many. Such a deep and well thought out piece this is. Well done for this Mary.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
-
Wow, such powerful words. so very well done. Thank you so much for entering I really enjoyed reading this. The best of luck to you in my contest. xXx
-
Wow. Great metaophors used in this. Such a great write. I loved it, and I agree, we all need a heart decor every now and then. Like right now, it's been 2 months and I still think about them. Thanks for such a great read and those great memories. WELL DONE
-
-
thank you very much for the kind comment. I'm pleased that you understood the meaning!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
-
-
I like this very much, especially the middle verse, though I would pare it down a bit. You have two metaphors here for the heart: adornment and bitter acid. I like both. Maybe you should contrast beauty and ugliness more strongly in your metaphor. The final verse uses the metaphor well. The first tells of the ugliness but does not really use it as a metaphor.
As for the middle verse, it could be a separate, short piece, perhaps something like this:
Self righteousness
eats the liningof my soul;
leaves bitterness aftertaste.
-
-
Thank you for the good advice. You know what? I had middle verse separate but then I changed it! You have been a great help. thanks again!!!
GBY
SilverButterfly
-
-
good message
creative and original
-
-
Thank you! It was just one of those writes as I sit and ponder about life
GBY
SilverButterfly
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
