You emanate the heady scent of roses.
I am drawn to the nectar
nestling on the surface of full lips
demanding, no screaming, for my touch.
Your mouth is the sensuous pool
in which I could drown
over and over again.
That life-giving pollen drives me
and I inhale you...
The dance of my tongue gently sucks
the sweet aphrodisiac from within you.
Let's make honey, my love.
Let me kiss those lips
until you hear the music of desire
until you breathe me ...
Author notes
This is my entry for round 5 of the erotic challenge hosted by Master Ktulu. The link for it is the following:
http://allpoetry.com/column/show/2339372
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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I LOVE THIS!!@! It is great that you kept your wording in mind!! It flowed well and is luring. I like the theme you ran with here.. very creative!
Goodluck!
Mel
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Just a kiss for loves lips,
nicely written that's for sure. -
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Aww thanks Riftkin. Glad ya liked it.
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Oh My Word!!
Love this one too
Gosh it seems that every entry I have read has brought forth heat!!
Wooooooooo Hooooooooooooo
You take the reader there and wrap the words around
the lips for it to be felt
Can't help but want to kiss You too
Thank You for sharing Your Talent Sweet One!!
Best wishes to You in the challenge
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Blushes ... oh wow thanks Desire. Thank you for sharing your warm, loving being Sweet one. I appreciate your warm comments.
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The dance of my tongue gently sucks
the sweet aphrodisiac from within you.
Let me kiss those lips
until you hear the music of desire
until you breathe me ...
i dare anyone anywhere not to feel those lines. this was great and those lines really stood out to me. this is a remarkable entry and can see where it will take top honors in this round.
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Thank you Shimmer. Wow, this comment blew me away. You made my day - a few days later I might say...
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like a great passionate song
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Why thank you petal!!
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Hey Tanzy ~
Actually.....I liked this very much ~
I know what Wolfe is saying though about the genre' being strongly headed toward the *making love* Theme......but.....with a slight tweek in a few words as he suggested, I think this is superb penning ~
Best of luck to you Hun,
Bear ~
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I have done some edits, a tweak here and there ... hope it improved the piece.
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This is a very beautiful sensual write. I liked the line with honey the best. It seemed like a good turn around from the usual term, making love. Very metaphorical too in the second stanza. Good luck in the challenge.
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Thank you Arzab. You know that a comment like you always makes me smile. Hugs and kisses.
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Your entry is very sensual and filled with alot of metaphoric imagery, however, this really does not have the feel of being about a kiss. The first 9 lines seem more like they are about making love than kissing....
The lines "The dance of my lips gently sucks
the sweet aphrodisiac from within you." I absolutely love. I wouldn't change that.
Also, this line here....
Let me kiss your body
I would change the word body to lips.
These are only my opinions and should you decide to make changes please let me know before the close of the round.
**Master Ktulu** -
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Edits are done Ktulu. Hope this made it better for you. Thank you for the great help with this piece.
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Splendid job! BRAVO!
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I am going to change it then. I will work on it tomorrow and the day after and will let you know as soon as the edits are done. I will also let the other judges know when it is edited.
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Eh, this is really good!
i love the flow and imagery created with such soothing effect. A wonderful... deeply sensual piece of erotica.
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Thank you so much. Your comment was really appreciated.
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lovely poetry, so full of expression; a delight to read and savor ...PK
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Thank you PK. As always, it is a delight to see you visiting.
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This is beautiful. I loved this line:
'You are the sensuous pool
in which I would drown'
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Thank you Raven.
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