"I am ninety-seven.", she told me with a beautiful smile.
Her unpainted lips now framing, her own natural teeth.
Her sweet face is topped by a cap of curly, silver hair.
I bet no bottle ever made, contained just that shade.
I've noticed, she only wears soft, pastel pinks.
Most often of thick, warm fleece. She chills easy.
Her skin is time worn, translucent, thin, and fragile.
She needs extra layers now, to protect her from cold
while she sits in her rocker facing the door. Listening.
She sits quitely, but ready to rise up to need's whispers.
A lady prepared, with words of encouragement for others.
" There are younger people here who can't get around,
but I can. I thank God every day, because I can."
She may walk slowly, on her way to rescue the lonely.
She gathers as many as she can around a pile of dominoes.
Chatting, and smiling, and teaching each one near her
that there is joy to be found in each new day.
Especially, at ninety seven.
A contest entry
- Wednesdays at Winklings by Lyndon.
875 points, ended December 3, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Gathering => gathers (you need a finite ver
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'Listening.' I loved the way you placed this word apart as an elliptical sentence. Well done.
I point to Richard's wise comments below with which I agree.
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Thank you for the suggestion
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Delightful introduction to one who is loving and living, not just 'waiting to die'. You may have a few more commas than you need. I think I could recognize her from your excellent descriptions!
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Thank you for your observations about the commas.
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This is a very beautiful poem. I really like it. I can see the admiration for the old woman in it and that really pleases me. You have used excellent imagery here that brings the poem alive for the reader. Good luck.
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Thank you, having worked with geriatric patients for twenty four years I have met alot of wonderful older people. It is too bad we don't revere our elders like we should.
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I forgot the applauses!
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Lovely! You described the lady so well that I can picture her in my mind; a lady with grey hair and a soft skin, no make up, dressed in pink, etc. Very well done.
Anna.
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Thank you Anna
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Terrific!
What a great and kind portrait. We are not alone in the world as long as we reach out to others who need us. There are people whom it is a privilege to meet and a pleasure to know, and this lady must surely be one of them. Best of luck!
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Thank you, she is. She teaches crocheting too.
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food for thought...
'dominoes' in Australia has an 'e', I do not know if it is like that in America..
This poem is very enigmatic. It has a mysterious quality about it because this is different from the norm. An old lady who is so healthy with so much to teach us, and is still happy. I like that.
To me there is an expressive image in 'I bet no bottle ever made,' because my mother did the same. So here, I feel a little sad.
You have captured the essence of being old with what she wears, what she feels and how she looks. But most importantly, you have captured how she thinks and helps others.
She is so hopeful too, and it is encouraging to read such optimism...'thank God every day because I can.'
Incredibly, she is on her way to 'rescue the lonely', and here is a lesson in keeping happy.
The poem is telling me a lot of joy in growing old and then it impacts with tha last expressive line: 'Especially, at ninety seven,' which links back to the beginning and pulls the poem into a complete whole.
The gentle theme progresses through the poem and you have made me feel comfortable and glad to grow older.
Richard
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Thank you, I appreciate the hint that dominoes required an e. You are so right, she is not what you imagine when you think of a 97 yr old lady!
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