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"Tell Me"

Tell me what do I do?
This world is too fake
Water passess over my feet
While standing beside the lake

Something teases my heart
Or soul is being killed
My glass is becoming empty
Though yesterday it was filled

Now my patience shatters
I've spoken my heart aloud
My eyes now start raining
Though there is no cloud

These peaple are so selfish
I feel my self so lonely
My heart starts quivering
I need  a  friend  only

Author notes

This poem is just an expression of my sadness nothing else. Hope you find it nice.

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Tell the truth!

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Miss45-racing-girl
    December 8, 2007

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    Very nice

    A nice piece, although the dark red makes it hard for me to read, but that's about all I would change. Very Cool.

  • Dobar Dan
    November 27, 2007

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    Hi Grandaughter

    How are you? I can hardly read your poem - the red print on a black background is not the best for this ole granpa - but I did manage to get through it - the rhyme is good and the flow is ok too - the rhyme seems forced at times - the content tells a story from the heart - the 3rd verse could be written to say that there is a cloud. Tears fall as the clouds of life engulf us. just a thought - keep on writing young lady - stay kewl - be good too grandaughter - Bless God - Granpa Joe ---- Hey -thats what my grankids call me - lol


    • Gold-feathers
      November 28, 2007
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      Iwrote it that there is no cloud cuz sometimes reasons are not the cause of rain from eyes tears come out cuz they have it. but thanks for your comment granpa I need as much guide as one can give


  • DonSulliven
    November 26, 2007

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    this is quite lovely and you expressed yourself beautifully. check the 3rd stanza 2nd line, space between spoken and my.great work


  • kamranAslam
    November 26, 2007

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    I said before.dont express so much sadness in ur poetry.BECAUSE THERE IS ALWAYS A HOPE THERE IN EVERY DIFFICULTY ALTHOUGH THE HOPE MAY BE AS SMALL AS AN ATOM.BUT POETRY IS NOT JUST THE NAME OF SORROWFUL AND SAD EXPRESSIONS.ANY WAY GREAT POETRY WITH RHYMING.LOOKS LIKE GREAT POET,S POETRY.KEEP IT UP.


  • Pisces rainbow gold member
    November 26, 2007

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    good days and bad, we all have them and we all can feel your pain the lessons of life, I usually try to just accept the bad days and be grateful for the good, easier said then done I know, but I do try and we are all lonely at one time or another even surrounded by people we can feel lonely but thank God you have poetry it is a wonderful vent and it makes you feel connected. and you are great poet keep on venting

1 - 6 of 6